Define Your Passion

     We continue on with our "Blog-Tember" challenge! Today's prompt... "I am passionate about __________."

     I think, simply put, I'm passionate about people. I'm a firm believer that people reveal more about the nature of God than anything else ever could. We are the crown of creation. That being said, it makes sense that each one of us carries specific traits that reflect who God is and what He's like.

     I think this passion translates into my personality and behavior pretty clearly. I'm passionate about spending time with people, finding out their stories, learning their likes and dislikes, observing their idiosyncrasies, and figuring out what makes them unique. It's a fairly simple concept, but one that I think we've grown to overlook in general. I'm passionate about understanding people as more than just my classmate, my boss, my boyfriend, or my roommate. I believe that it's when our relationship with these people supersedes their role in our lives that we're able to actually see God in them, see the divine footprint that He's left on each individual soul.

Happy Pills

     If having a blog has taught me anything, it's that I need to work on consistency. Ha! Seriously though, look at how sporadicly I post. Not a very good habit. Well, I'm hoping that (half-way) participating in Bailey's "Blog-Tember" challenge will help remedy this situation. She's listed 30 different prompts to write about that accompany each day of September. Being completely honest, there is no way I can make an honest commitment to blog for 30 days straight. I can, however, commit to 10 posts. So, with the help of some very important people, we've picked 10 random prompts that I'll be writing about throughout the month of September.

     First up... Write about what makes you happy, from the little joys, to the huge game-changers. In other words, if you could take some "happy pills," what would they be made up of? So here we go.

Soft sweatshirts. Ice cold sweet tea. Dainty jewelry. New boots. 

 Cookies & cream ice cream. Loud country music. Forehead kisses. Birthdays.

Old bibles. Houston skyline. Baseball games. Clean kitchens. 

Gilmore Girls. Fluffy pillows. Fresh sushi. Pedicures.

I love yous. New pens. Glitter. French fries. Washi tape. Big hugs. 

Soft pretzels. Manly cologne (... on a guy). Blow dried hair.  Thunderstorms.

Cougar red Fridays. Juicy red sno-cones. Cutthroat Kitchen. Surprises.

My kiko dog. Airports. CFA chicken minis. Jam sessions in the car. 

Affirmations. Flowers. Southern porches.

Bible Photos

     As of this afternoon, I've started a new practice of inserting pictures into my Bible. Within the past year or so, I've grown to really love Scripture. One of the great things about this was that often times, people would come to mind as I was reading the Word. Naturally, I'd write their name in the margin and move on with my day. But, I didn't like how subtle it was. I wanted something that would really stand out. I desired a way to make the Scriptures more relatable to my everyday life. What a better way than to associate them with people I interact with on a daily basis? 

Here are some pictures about what I'm talking about. (Once these people see this, they're probs going to kill me...)

     I know some of you are reading this and shuddering at the fact that I actually taped things into my Bible! Some logistics... I used washi tape, which lifts up really easily without damaging the pages or lifting the ink. Also (with the exception of the family picture), the other ones are taped alongside the margin. Therefore, they're easy to lift and read underneath. Another option is to paperclip them to the individual pages... your preference really. 

     The Scriptures really are one of the coolest gifts we're lucky enough to have. I encourage you to pick a copy up (or read it on your phone) and experience all the graces that come from immersing yourself in God's word.

     Hope you're all having a productive and/or relaxing summer. Have a super 4th of July!!

Sweet Tea Christians

     My family and I went out for dinner to celebrate my little brother's middle school graduation last night. Due to the fancy pants nature of the restaurant, I constantly had a waiter hovering over me ready to refill my iced tea anytime I took a single sip. I know his intentions were good, but my goodness that drives me crazy. If I had a list of pet peeves, this would be on it. You see, I have a system for sweetening my tea. The second you add more unsweetened tea to my already sweet glass, it throws off the whole thing!

     

     Ask anyone close to me, you do not mess with this girl's sweet tea. I am serious about that stuff. I have a life motto that I rarely share (because people will think I'm a little cray), "There are two things in this world that could never be too sweet: your tea and yourself." That being said, I have another thing that bothers me infinitely times more than refilling a half full glass of iced tea... not sweet people. Even more so, not sweet Christians. 

     

     You see, we as Christians are called to evangelize Christ to the world. It's not a job for a select few, it's a responsibility, a privilege, that we are all granted. But here's the issue - the way we work to fulfill that responsibility is sometimes the same way we fulfill our other (much less important) responsibilities. 

     Let's use an example to illustrate my point. Your boss asks you to market a new product. Naturally, you spend your entire 8-5 workday thinking of new and innovative ways to market that product. You alter your campaign depending on the age range of your audience. But then, at some point, maybe around 6:00pm when you've come home to your family, your efforts diminish. Maybe they don't cease completely, but you're definitely not as productive. Your priority is no longer that ad campaign. 

     We do this with evangelization. We rack our brains trying to come up with fancy ways to "sell Jesus" to those around us. We change our words and behavior depending on who we're interacting with. Our Sunday "work day" is over and we forget our task. We completely miss the point. Christ is love. You share Christ by simply being loving to those around you. Sure, this means those big showy acts of love like buying a meal for a homeless man, or visiting those in prison. But guess what, it also means being respectful to your parents, holding the door open for the stranger behind you, being friendly and affectionate to your spouse, not being snarky to your siblings, and smiling at people. 

     It is ridiculous, a waste of time, and incredibly hypocritical for us to "spend our workday" overcomplicating evangelization when we don't even put effort toward being loving, being sweet to those we interact with multiple times a day. Our world needs more Sweet Tea Christians, our world needs you.

Genesis 22

     Jesus wasn't lying when He said we'd be persecuted if we chose to follow Him. The problem with our perception of this statement is that we have an unrealistic view of the word persecution. You see, we're pretty lucky to live in a society where we face very little verbal or physical persecution for the sake of our faith (in comparison to other areas of the world). I'd argue however, that the type of persecution we face is just as dangerous. We face a type of psychological and emotional persecution when we choose to follow Christ.
     
     A strange phenomenon happens when you devote your life to God where suddenly those once closest to you may feel like complete strangers. People who do not share your love for Christ or passion for the Gospel look down on you with disapproval. Beyond that, some might even pity you. In a matter of moments, you can go from being perceived as a confident, driven, and successful young woman to a disillusioned, naive, undetermined, and weak little girl.

     We were warned this would happen. We've been told since little children in CCE that we may "lose friends" when we choose to put God first. (Although lets be real, anyone you lose in this process probably wasn't the greatest friend to begin with). We're well equipped with bible verses, praise and worship lyrics, and saint quotes to face these tough times! How may times we've heard St. Paul's famous words to Timothy, "I have finished the race. I have kept the faith!" Well, good for you buddy. 

     But come on! You know as well as I do that those words can only go so far. You lose one friend for the sake of Christ... okay. You lose two... alright that sucks a little bit. You lose three... by this point I'm a pro at this, whatever. What happens when the stakes get higher? What happens when the people you start drifting apart from are your family? Or your significant other? What happens then? What happens when the people who have given you the most love are the ones who fail to recognize the source of love itself?

     This is where things get real. This is where your faith is tested. Do you love God more than you love your husband? Do you love Christ more than you love your parents? If your answer to this is "I don't know..." or even "No..." you're not alone. In fact, this has been happening since the days of the Old Testament.

     Remember the story of Abraham? The old guy who prayed and prayed for a son, and God finally blessed him and his wife Sarah with Isaac! Just a few chapters later, God asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Yeah... sacrifice, as in kill. Can you imagine the inner turmoil that poor old man must have been going through? The pain and agony of even thinking about killing his child. Followed by the frustration that it was for the sake of God! Hopefully you all know how the story ends. Abraham is about to go through with it all, when God stops him! (Thank goodness. How awful would that story be if he actually ended up killing him?)

     Okay but here's the point. Abraham's faith was being tested. In that critical moment of truth, Abraham chose God over Isaac, trusting that God's plans were greater than his own. Obviously, God wants what's best for us - more than our friends do, more than our parents do. Not only does God want what's best for us, He knows what's best for us. In that moment, God decided losing Isaac wasn't what was best for Abraham.

     Final thought in the course of all this madness. Is it possible that you're Abraham right now? Is there something that God is calling you to do that is causing a distance to form between you and those you love the most? Don't get stuck on the first part of Abraham's story. Understand that God's plans are significantly greater than ours. He will never leave you orphan. He has never failed, and He most definitely isn't about to start. 

Donde Estas

     In my last post, I wrote about my realization of how desperately I needed God. I raised my white flag in hopes that God would come running at me like a warrior, ready to defeat all of my life's problems. Well, I'm very unhappy to report that I feel like I've been sitting on the ground waving my white flag to an empty room. In fact, it's become less of a wave - my arm is barely holding the thing up.

     I will say, I've received some consolation in the fact that some of our church's greatest saints also went through these periods of isolation. Mother Teresa actually wrote letters to some of her church superiors throughout the last 50 years of her life explaining this struggle. She even went so far as to admit that it was difficult for her to feel any bit of God's existence in her heart, or in the Eucharist. 

"I call, I cling, I want - and there is no One to answer - no One on Whom I can cling - no, No one. Alone... Where is my Faith - even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness and darkness. My God - how painful is this unknown pain - I have no Faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony."

     How I wish I could have a hang out day with Mother Teresa. Girl, I feel you! The problem with these moments of solitude aren't the moments themselves - but the idea that we can't share them with anyone. Real talk, if it wasn't for this blog I probably wouldn't be either. I don't have all the answers. I'm out of ideas on how to remedy this situation. Quite frankly, I don't think this post will necessarily help me on my quest to feel God's presence. But, my hope is that someone with a similar struggle would stumble across this and realize that they're not alone.

     All I've been able to muster up as a prayer recently is "Help me become more aware of your presence." But hey, eight words are better than none, right? 

Oh, How I Desperately Need You

     It's time for a real talk post. The thing about posts like this is that they get really personal really quick. But I'm a big believer in the idea that God uses our present circumstances to prepare us for what's coming next, and/or to help others who may be sharing our struggles. So for the sake of all that good stuff, here goes nothing.

     The past month, I have been repeatedly reminded of just how much I need God. For whatever reason, the weeks of February felt long and painful. It seemed like bad news was always looming overhead and just as things would start to let up, I'd be slapped with it once more. During moments like this, I desperately longed for consolation. But, I'm way too stubborn to ever admit the fact that I need a hug and a shoulder to literally cry on. Don't even get me started on the crying... so not my favorite.

     Well of course, my inability to be honest with my feelings left me to sit alone with them. Obviously, the best thing to do would have been to take it to prayer. I should have thrown myself into the arms of God and allowed Him to console me. But, there I went again... stubborn and unwilling. "I'm not that hurt. I'm okay. Today has just been stressful. I don't need anyone to help me." I'm sure what comes next is no surprise. Eventually, I fell. "Why aren't things getting any better? Why doesn't my family realize I'm hurting? Why don't my friends do anything about it?" Once you reach this point, it's easy to become frustrated with the people around you... as if they carry any of the blame for your current distress.

     The truth of the matter is, none of the people around us have the ability to console and heal us. Don't get me wrong, having a friend lend his/her shoulder to cry on is absolutely wonderful and totally necessary sometimes. In fact, we are called to be that shoulder for our brothers and sisters as a way of exemplifying God's love. But, this is only a temporary fix. The struggles that we carry, the failures we cling to, and the pain of our situation can only be healed by God. This requires extreme levels of surrender - a total feeling of lost control. And that, my friends, is scary. Even worse, it can appear lonely at first. We have to acknowledge that other human beings cannot and will not make our situation better. If we focus on that, it seems as if we have nothing left... and that feeling of loneliness is sometimes too great to bear. Take heart! In that loneliness, God calls. Audrey Assad says it best, "In the silence of the heart, you speak."

     I've reached the point where I need to be silent. I've raised my white flag and cried all over it. It's time to be silent, let go, and let God do His thing.

"You Speak" - Audrey Assad

Responding to God's Love

     It's been a while, folks. I've been a little lacking in blogging inspiration lately. Thankfully, this past Tuesday at bible study, I was struck with an idea. Our study last week focused on the topic of faith and works. We spoke at length about James 2:14-26.

     

     I've come to realize that many people incorrectly assume that Catholics believe we must earn heaven. Because of our disagreement with the principle of "by faith alone" in regards to salvation, it may seem as if we try to work to earn a spot in heaven. This is not the case. We do place significant importance on the physical works we do while here on earth. The reason why however, is not because it's a "rule." Rather, it's a response. Our good works on earth are a response to the faith that we have in God, the love that we have for Christ. 

     

     Whenever we talk to someone about our relationship with Christ, the conversation naturally turns to all the things God has done for us - "Oh look at all the blessings He has bestowed on me!" We use phrases such as "count your blessings" and say grace before meals as ways of recognizing the acts God has done out of pure love for us. God bestows His blessings upon us as a response to His overwhelming love for us. If even God does this, doesn't it make sense that we do the same?

     The motivation for our good works should never be to "earn heaven" or to simply "get on God's good side." Rather, they should be natural and appropriate responses to the great love that he continually pours out on us. 

     Okay I realize there wasn't a whole lot going on here... so I promise to post again soon with something much more thought provoking! Have a great week everyone! 

Short and Sweet Life Story

     Day one in the February blogging challenge! Here's my story, the shortest and sweetest version I could possibly come up with.

     It started back in October of 1994. I was born in the middle of the hustling Texas Med Center in the wonderful city of Houston. Born and raised, I was a southern girl from the start. But even better, I was born to two wildly entertaining Hispanic parents. The combination of the culture I was raised in and the one I was born into is one of my favorite blessings. We settled in the picture perfect city of Sugar Land, a few minutes outside of Houston... where the only things sweeter than the name are the people!

     I was baptized very shortly after exiting the womb and have been living the Catholic party ever since! When I was almost 5 years old, my family welcomed another baby into the world. My little brother, Danny, was born in September of 1999. He is, without a doubt, my absolute favorite blessing.

     I started attending a non-parochial private school until I was old enough to start at Catholic School. Side story - I started reading early (which might explain my struggle with all things math/science). As a result, I moved up to Kindergarten a year early and needed to reach a certain age until St. Laurence would allow me to enter in the 2nd grade. I spent the majority of my grade school at St. Laurence, the home of the Saints. How creative, I know. But, it was home nonetheless. For years, I associated school with plaid jumpers and mass on Friday mornings.

     Upon leaving St. Laurence, I went up a level in my "Catholic School Girl" status. I started at St. Agnes Academy, an all girls college preparatory high school. Yes, all girls. So much estrogen. People have their mixed opinions about St. Agnes, but I absolutely loved it. I also loved the fact that there was an all boys school right next door. This meant you could selectively decide when you did and did not want to see young men. Let me tell you, some days, sticking with girls is just much easier. While at The Academy, I got my first job, dabbled in theater, had a long term boyfriend, and served on the campus ministry team. High school was good to me, and for that I'm thankful. 

     In my junior year of high school, I also got confirmed. I was pretty interested in my faith at this point, so this was pretty exciting. Little did I know the graces that I was about to be flooded with! Another side story - I dig my confirmation name. Rose, from St. Rose of Lima. Check her out, she's fabulous.

     My first semester of college sent me to San Antonio as I attended St. Mary's University. I could start an entirely new blog dedicated to all the lessons I learned during my first semester of college. I was blessed with wonderful roommates, incredible experiences, and a fantastic scholarship. 

     For various reasons (more on this later if necessary), I transferred to the University of Houston in January of 2013. The journey back to Houston was probably one of my most life changing events. I'll admit, it was a transition that came with a lot of fear. There was a lot of change going on. My new school would be 10x bigger than my previous one. I would be living on campus with brand new roommates. My three year role of "girlfriend" was over. My grandma who practically lived with us was becoming increasingly sick. You could say it was a little bit overwhelming. But, God is so great. Romans 8:18 is SO RIGHT, "The pain you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming." God absolutely blew me away with blessings during my first semester at UH. My faith was set on fire. I fell in love with Jesus Christ deeper than I ever knew possible. I came to understand myself better, found my passions, explored my talents, and just embraced all the joys of life.

     The rest of 2013 did not disappoint. I had the most productive and fun summer of my life. I worked as a camp counselor, started attending weekly bible study, became involved in the young adult ministry at my church, made new friendships, strengthened old ones, and got a killer tan! 

     By the time fall semester came around, I felt empowered. I had a clearer idea of what I wanted to pursue in terms of a career and a desire to grow deeper in my faith and help others do the same. I spent the fall semester praying for opportunities to put these passions into action. Of course, God doesn't disappoint. I'm happy to announce that I'm actively pursuing these goals, as well as new and exciting projects that have come my way. 

     Good job, people! You've managed to make it through my entire life story, almost! This is where I am now, living in the crazy chaos that is college. If these past 19 years have taught me anything it's that God loves us the most. Because of that, He has plans for us greater than anything we could ever come up with. Our plans will get messed up, our "perfect" lives will shatter. But when that happens, get excited. It just means He's about to surprise you with something so much better. 

2013: The Year I Learned How To Love

     I've never been the kind of person to make real New Year's Resolutions. Last year, however, I did something that might have constituted as one. I spent the last few weeks of December contemplating one word I could pray through for the rest of the year. On New Year's Day 2013, my answer was finally revealed to me in prayer: love.

     

     I spent the entirety of 2013 trying to learn what it meant to truly love... love myself, love others, and love God. Anyone who has known me for a while might have been surprised. I'm the kind of person that doesn't go a day (much less two hours) without saying "I love you." I had always believed I had love figured out. This past year proved to me how very wrong I was. But, it was the greatest and most valuable lesson I've ever learned.

     I'm sure we are all fairly familiar with some version of the quote by St. Thomas Aquinas, "To love is to will the good of another." When we hear this quote, it is easy for us to assume this is the way we love those closest to us. However, willing the good of someone, and actually dying to yourself in order that they may achieve it are two very different things. Authentic love is not complete without both parts. I begged God to challenge me this year - to give me the opportunity to exemplify authentic love in its most raw form. He did not disappoint.

     Love is not easy. True and genuine love is filled with times where it's anything but easy. In those moments where love becomes challenging, painful, and even strenuous, our mere humanity is not enough to hold us up. As Dr. Edward Sri states, "Love requires virtue." If you are not continually working toward becoming a more virtuous person, achieving this level of love is impossible. The difficulty of it will break you. We need God all the time, but especially in those moments. Moments like these require extreme levels of chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. Genuine love challenges you to return to the person God made you to be - a reflection of His goodness. This is no easy task. It is an uphill battle against the effects of sin that are so prevalent in our world - especially apathy, a general lack of interest in the battle at hand.

     Love requires sacrifice. We were created out of love, and for love. Therefore, this sacrificial behavior should be what guides our actions on a daily basis. Are you the kind of person who lays down your life consistently, even in the small things? Honest self sacrifice should be evident in all your relationships - not just in a select few. The number of times that I've heard people say things like, "When I'm in a relationship, I am so attentive to my boyfriend's/girlfriend's needs" is appalling. If you honestly believe this about yourself, this is a red flag. Our actions of self sacrifice should never be conditional.

     Once again, as Dr. Sri says, "The way you practice is the way you're going to play the game." For most of us, this is our practice time. College is filled with years of being young, free, and unattached. If we cannot practice love in its most raw and true form now, we will not be able to years from now in our marriages and workplaces.

     If you're living ruled by a watered down version of love, ask God to help you grow. Ask Him to flood you with the graces necessary that you may cultivate the seven virtues in your heart. This will change your life, in the most wonderful of ways. Make 2014 life changing.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us.