Around the Round

     As y'all may have noticed, "Splendid Surprises" is now "Around the Round!" This spontaneous name change was actually not as spur of the moment as you may think. I had thought about changing the name of the blog for a while to something more appropriate. Trust me, I loved the alliteration that I had going on, but "Splendid Surprises" really had nothing to do with the content of my writing. Don't ask how I got the name in the first place, because I really don't remember.
     I asked my dear friend Nathalie for her advice on the new title and she came up with the idea behind "Around the Round." For as long as I can remember, my house has been the "go-to" place for family and friend reunions. On any given night, there are bound to be people sitting at my kitchen table who do not actually live in my home. Throughout the past five years or so, I've noticed that many of the best conversations between friends and family were had at that same table. I came to the conclusion that round tables seem to facilitate easier conversation. While sitting at a rectangular table, it's fairly easy to avoid making eye contact with others. At a round table however, nothing goes unnoticed. The facial expressions and body language of those seated are blatantly exposed for the rest of the group to see. Although this may sound terrifying, it changes the dynamic of a conversation. The atmosphere goes from that of a business meeting to that of a family dinner.

     My hope for this blog is that it be a place where none of my thoughts or emotions go unnoticed. This humble little corner of the internet is where my deepest ponderings become exposed, completely unfiltered and obviously transparent. Included with each post is my invitation for all of you to take a moment and join the discussion at my round table. 

Divine Refill

     My last post (which I'm sorry to say was written almost a month ago) was comprised of my thoughts on the importance of guarding one's heart. I've spent a lot of time in prayer over this particular topic. As I mentioned previously, this is one area with which I have always struggled. God was definitely listening to my prayers and I'm fairly certain that He revealed a vital piece of information to me tonight. 
     Tonight at homecoming dinner (weekly gathering of college students from my home parish) my new friend Chris shared, "We are called to love until we feel empty. When we've given all of our own love, that's when God comes in. At that point, it is His love that is being shown through us." With all true love comes the risk of true heartache. It is through Him alone that we are able to continue to love another even after our human heart has been so badly bruised that it feels completely empty. 
     Sadly enough, the relationships we put the most love into are sometimes also the ones that leave our hearts feeling drained. In fact, I was listening to Fall Out Boy's latest album not too long ago and came across some lyrics that spoke about this same phenomenon, "Sometimes, before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger." There are moments in our relationships where the darkness can get pretty big. It is in those times where our hearts feel empty. But God never abandons us! We have the ability to overcome these moments of darkness. I'm sure you've either experienced this yourself or have witnessed it through someone else... Your heart feels completely empty and useless but you somehow manage to forgive and continue loving with the same amount (if not more) of joy and zeal as before. That is a miracle, my friends. It's a miracle performed by none other than the Holy Spirit. 
     I challenge all of you to welcome the Holy Spirit always, but especially in those moments where the darkness is big and your heart is empty. Our human love can only go so far, but God's love is never ending. He wants to refill us. Let Him.
     

Guard Your Heart

     Someone recently described me as a, "very relational person." This slightly offbeat description puzzled me. He even went so far as to say that I "wear my heart on my sleeve" in a sense. I didn't like that statement. I've always been warned against this practice for the simple reason that it opens up the opportunity for all types of hurt to come in. Upon further reflection however, I've realized that I have indeed been "wearing my heart on my sleeve" for the majority of my life.

     I've struggled with the practice of keeping love at the center of all my actions while still guarding my heart in the process. I didn't understand how it was possible to be truly kind and loving while still holding back parts of your heart in an effort to stay protected. To be completely honest, I still don't entirely comprehend it.

     However, I have come to recognize the extreme importance of guarding one's heart. God warns us about this relentlessly throughout scripture. Proverbs 4:23 states, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." I feel like we as women (especially Catholic women) constantly hear about the duty we have to protect our purity. Even more often, we hear the dangers that could arise if we fail to do so. We commonly ignore the truth that the consequences of recklessly opening the gates to our heart (in other ways besides physical intimacy) can be just as detrimental. 

     I wish I could write an entire post on ways to put this practice of guarding instead of just "giving away" into action. But, like I mentioned, I'm not sure how to do this myself. I'm confident that through prayer and reflection, God will reveal to all of us how to best do this in accordance with the circumstances of our lives.

     In the meantime, I recommend checking out this post, "Emotional Chastity " written by Tess over at "The Catholic Young Woman." She writes an awesome article about guarding one's heart in terms of guy-girl friendships. It's incredibly eye-opening and is sure to change your perspective on a few aspects of this frequently talked about topic.

Finals Frenzy

     The month of April has not been good to me in terms of my humble little blog. Poor Splendid Surprises have been lacking lately due to my absolutely crazy schedule. I promise we'll make a comeback!
     I'm sure most of you, like myself, are experiencing the stress of finals right now. If you read my previous post you saw how I was less than impressed with my academic performance this year. That realization plus the fact that the semester is coming to a close has sent me into a whirlwind of negative energy and minor panic attacks.
     During a little study break today, I came across this gem of wisdom from a fellow blogger at College Prep. Carly writes a great article about how we often times allow our exam grades to seriously impact the way we view ourselves. I've read what seems like hundreds of editorials about this exact same phenomenon but have never felt it directly applied to me. The way Carly writes really made me realize that I do this way too frequently and it does have a visible impact on the way I think and behave. 
     Perhaps we should have a different mindset as we approach our final exams this year. I don't think we should necessarily be as concerned with making an "A." We should instead be focusing on the ways that "Finals Week 2013" can become a long lasting learning experience. The information we are attempting to memorize should instead be thoroughly understood. Our study habits shouldn't cause us to fall ill from lack of sleep but instead be tailored toward our specific learning styles and time constraints. I strongly believe that if we make this our first priority, a successful grade will be an inevitable result.
     If you have a moment, go take a look at Carly's post, "Exam Grades". It's full of information that every student should hear around this time. My prayer for all of you is that you are equipped with the determination to study hard and the confidence to perform well on every exam. Hang in there, the end is near! 

Neglecting

     My dearest followers, I must offer my most sincere heartfelt apologies for being MIA for the past two weeks! To say my life has been busy lately would be an understatement. What I'm about to share with you all is something that's not easy for me to do, but must be done. 
     I'm a pretty stubborn person. I will pull every trick in the book to try and convince myself that I'm not, but deep down I know the truth. That being said, admitting that I messed up without offering any excuse is something I consider close to impossible. I'm aware of this flaw and can sincerely say I've been trying to work on it. 
     This past semester at UH has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. I got very caught up in the excitement and joy that surrounded me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, in the process I neglected certain other areas of my life. I'm not saying I had some huge mess up... I'm not failing out of school and my family didn't disown me. But, regardless, I feel that I did not put 100% of myself into my responsibilities this semester. Could I have put more effort into my relationship with my family? Most definitely. Could I have been more diligent in regards to my school work? You bet. Could I have dived more deeply into my faith? For sure. 
     Some people will try to tell me that I shouldn't be stressing so much. I even had one person tell me, "You don't need to put that much work into your family. You're living away from them for a reason." Well, with all due respect, I don't think that way. I have neglected many of my responsibilities for the past few months - I have not given them the time and effort that I personally believe they deserve. 
     But, what's done is done. For me, accepting that I messed up is a HUGE step in the right direction. I need to remember that I am called to live the way Jesus did, offering every single one of my actions for the glory of God. If I truly lived that way, I wouldn't even think to put anything less than 100% of my effort into all of my duties. That's my new goal.

Beautiful Quotes

Live As Unleavened Bread

     Alleluia, He is Risen! Happy Easter to all of you! I hope you all were able to have a relaxing weekend filled with joy. This is the first year that my family has not participated in "traditional" Easter celebrations involving candy and a fluffy pastel bunny. Instead of attending morning mass, my family decided to go to the 5:00pm mass. I love 5:00pm mass, but I always associate it with a "regular Sunday," not Easter Sunday. I felt like Easter was missing something. There was no mention of dying eggs, hiding candy, or buying a new floral dress. Easter was missing its sparkle. In my eyes, Easter was missing what made it special, the show!
     I was assigned to lector the 2nd reading, so I was practicing it in the back minutes before mass started. I thought to myself, "Well, at least the reading will be exciting!" I assumed it would be some beautifully written excerpt from scripture that joyfully proclaimed the resurrection of our Lord. Imagine my surprise when I was faced with nine lines talking about bread. Yeah, bread. As in, the stuff they serve at a restaurant before you get your real food. You have got to be kidding me.
     I walked down from the ambo after reading what I interpreted to be a super lame 2nd reading and waited for the gospel. My pouty mood was made a bit better after hearing the gospel and I was so ready to hear the homily that was to follow. You should have seen the look on my face when Fr. Tom walked up to the front of the altar and started talking about none other than the 2nd reading... the bread. "Fr. Tom, what are you doing?!" I thought to myself as he began to preach about the qualities of yeast and how it scientifically makes dough rise and blah blah blah.
     Then, he said something that caught my attention. Most of us know where yeast comes from now. It's a product of fermentation which happens when we leave things lying out. (It develops on fruits and vegetables that have started to rot). In Jesus' time however, bakers didn't know this exactly. They did know however, that if they added a bit of the old batch of dough to the new batch, it would cause the bread to rise. (The yeast had developed in the old batch that had been left lying out and caused the bread to rise when added to the new batch of dough).
     The 2nd reading instructs us to celebrate the sacrifice of Christ with unleavened bread. What a great party food right? Yeah, no, so gross. But, it makes sense! Leavened bread, although fluffy and delicious, gets its "sparkle" and "show" from the addition of old and yucky bacteria. Jesus Christ has risen from the dead! I don't want to celebrate such a joyous occasion by eating the old stuff, I want everything new! That, my dear friends, is the meaning of this very odd reading.
     Jesus, through His death and resurrection, has brought us a new way of life. He has given us a life free from the captivity of sin and death. Forget about our old lives, our old batches of dough. We should embrace this new life! It may not have the same "sparkle" and "show" of an Easter egg hunt, a new floral dress, or a fluffy loaf of bread... but, it is so much better.

ASB 2013

     This year, I had the best spring break of my life (so far). Instead of spending the week sitting on the couch at home, or drinking away my stresses on Padre Island, I chose to go on a mission trip to the diocese of Brownsville.

     The week started with an eventful drive to San Juan, Texas (just outside of McAllen). Unlike the typical school style road trips, our drive resembled that of a very large and obnoxiously loud family. Whenever someone wanted to eat, we stopped. If someone needed to go to the bathroom, we stopped. If someone felt the need to check their hair in a mirror, we stopped. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I loved the fact that we weren't on a strict schedule - it made the trip much more relaxed. You'd think that this would add a significant amount of travel time. However, thanks to the speedy driving habits of Fr. Joseph, we made it in about 6.5 hours (only an hour over the estimate).

Excited for the trip with Eugenia

James, Gio, and Joel at Whataburger

Credit goes to Shane for Vine-ing our drive in van 1

     We arrived in San Juan at around 8:00pm. It is here that the beautiful Basilica of Our Lady of San Juan del Valle is located. Alternative Spring Break (ASB) was a mixture of a mission trip as well as a pilgrimage. Our mission work consisted of helping the Newman Center at UT Pan American and our pilgrimage was centered around visiting this amazing Basilica. The staff at the Basilica served as excellent hosts and offered us a very generous rate to stay at their on site housing. This is where we stayed for the duration of our trip, 3 nights.

Excuse the poor quality iPhone picture

      Tuesday morning we headed off to the University of Texas Pan American (UTPA) to meet our friend Joe, the campus minister at the Newman Center. 

UH campus minister, Gio, with UTPA campus minister, Joe.

     He presented us with our task for the day... and I'm just going to go ahead and say that it was not easy. The center at UTPA owns a small house right across the parking lot. It has a lot of potential, but the problem is that it has been abandoned for years. As a result, the quaint 3 bedroom house looked like a scene from the "Hoarders: Buried Alive" show. But not to worry, 15 of us stormed into the house and cleaned it out completely. 

Cleaning all the stuff out of the house went surprisingly quickly

I was useless when it came to the heavy lifting. But we formed one heck of a cleaning crew.
Look at those sparkling floors!

     Wednesday was spent doing some minor housekeeping work at the actual Newman Center. It was much more relaxed than our previous day of playing "Extreme Makeover Home Edition." The best part however was when we got news of our new pope! There is no group of people I would have rather been with to watch this exciting moment in church history. 

i

Excuse this incredibly unflattering picture of me, but it shows the excitement.

Papa Francisco!  

     The first two days of our trip was our mission work, and the last day was our pilgrimage. We spent Thursday morning at the Basilica for daily mass and Stations of the Cross. It was absolutely gorgeous and so peaceful. You could feel really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. I was also able to find a new bible in the gift shop which I had been planning on buying for a while!

Breathtaking altar

Giant mural on the side of the Basilica made out of tiny glass tiles

     To say I'm blessed to have gone on this trip is an understatement. This week allowed me to see mission work from an entirely new perspective. On Monday afternoon we left as a group of 21 friends and acquaintances  By the time we got back to Houston on Thursday night, we were a family. I love my ASB family, not just as a result of the memories we made but of the humbling experience we shared while serving in the poorest of all dioceses.
     God allowed me to go on this mission trip not only to serve him and his people, but to enrich my life by making 21 new brothers and sisters. I couldn't have ever imagined a more perfect spring break. I'm already counting down the days until next year.

Stop Punishing Yourself

     I always find it funny whenever someone makes reference to "Good old fashioned Catholic guilt." Why is this even a thing?  Every time I hear this I want to kindly inform everyone about the fact that we have confession... which, if I may add, is probably one of the coolest sacraments ever. We can commit even the most horrible of sins, but as long as we come into reconciliation with a humble and contrite heart, we are forgiven. Why is it then that we still have this idea of feeling guilty for what we've done? 
     I'm telling you folks, God is a way better "forgiver" than we will ever be. I sometimes come into contact with amazing people who are convinced that they have been damaged beyond repair as a result of some sin they previously committed. What makes this even more saddening is that they tell me they've already been to reconciliation and received absolution! In their minds, they know that God has forgiven them. But in their hearts, they're convinced that that's just "too good to be true."
     We have this awful habit of trying to prove ourselves to God. We want to show him that although He has already forgiven us, we will continue to live in sadness and despair for what we've done. He doesn't want that! He made us for happiness and love! What I'm about to tell you is going to be difficult to comprehend because it is so far from what we are told in our society today... God doesn't love you because you're good, He loves you because you're His.
     Stop living in darkness as a way of trying to punish yourself. Jesus has already taken the punishment upon himself! The best way to thank Him is to repent for your sins and take advantage of all the love and grace He pours upon us.
     Okay, I've finished my very small and somewhat meaningless rant. Go and enjoy your Sunday!

Burning Lights Tour

     I'm completely overwhelmed by the greatness of this past week. All I could think about was getting back to my computer to tell you all about it! I started my Spring Break exactly a week from today and boy was that a blast. I took a few of my friends to the fish fry at my home parish and completely stuffed my face with some quality Knights of Columbus home cooking. I think we all agreed that there's something about fish fried outside your local Catholic church that just hits the spot. 
     Saturday brought a whole new set of adventures. I, along with two of the greatest Catholic boys you will ever meet, ventured to The Woodlands to go see Chris Tomlin in concert. I had never been to a praise and worship concert outside of the retreat setting, so I was curious to see how this was all going to go down.

     I give the Burning Lights Tour a glowing review. The entire pavilion was full of energy, love, and excitement. The evening started with the beautiful Kari Jobe leading us in some praise and worship. Shortly after, Chris Tomlin took the stage and brought your typical "Jesus Music" to a whole new level. Now, here's what's super cool. After a few songs, Louie Giglio took the stage and preached. For those of you who are not into stuff like this, I completely understand how crazy this sounds. But trust me, this was not your typical dull and boring bible school lesson. He broke open three stories from scripture and proclaimed them in an absolutely phenomenal way. His explanation of the Story of The Prodigal Son is the best I've ever heard! (More on that coming soon). Once again, Chris and Kari both took the stage and finished out the evening. I don't remember the last time I've seen so many people dancing with such joy in public... I'm talking kids as young as 4 years old to men and women in their 70's.

     Obviously, the concert was fun... as they almost always are. But, I could have not thought of any better way to begin my spring break. I knew that on Monday morning, I was going to leave with a group of students on a mission trip for Alternative Spring Break (ASB). Chris' lyrics perfectly prepared my heart for what was to come.

"I feel alive. I come alive. I am alive, on God's great dance floor."

     The world we are surrounded by every day is God's great dance floor. That world is not always pretty. Sometimes it's filled with sadness, destruction, and poverty. But alongside all those negatives, there are a never ending number of positives. When we accept the will and love of God into our lives, no matter the state of the dance floor around us, we become alive. We fill the dance floor with positives. That's what I was about to do on ASB. I was accepting our Father's love and plunging into the dance floor of the diocese of Brownsville. Although the state of this place was unknown to me, I felt alive and ready to accomplish whatever challenges came my way. (Stay tuned for info coming soon about ASB... if I can manage to fit it all into one post!)