2013: The Year I Learned How To Love

     I've never been the kind of person to make real New Year's Resolutions. Last year, however, I did something that might have constituted as one. I spent the last few weeks of December contemplating one word I could pray through for the rest of the year. On New Year's Day 2013, my answer was finally revealed to me in prayer: love.

     

     I spent the entirety of 2013 trying to learn what it meant to truly love... love myself, love others, and love God. Anyone who has known me for a while might have been surprised. I'm the kind of person that doesn't go a day (much less two hours) without saying "I love you." I had always believed I had love figured out. This past year proved to me how very wrong I was. But, it was the greatest and most valuable lesson I've ever learned.

     I'm sure we are all fairly familiar with some version of the quote by St. Thomas Aquinas, "To love is to will the good of another." When we hear this quote, it is easy for us to assume this is the way we love those closest to us. However, willing the good of someone, and actually dying to yourself in order that they may achieve it are two very different things. Authentic love is not complete without both parts. I begged God to challenge me this year - to give me the opportunity to exemplify authentic love in its most raw form. He did not disappoint.

     Love is not easy. True and genuine love is filled with times where it's anything but easy. In those moments where love becomes challenging, painful, and even strenuous, our mere humanity is not enough to hold us up. As Dr. Edward Sri states, "Love requires virtue." If you are not continually working toward becoming a more virtuous person, achieving this level of love is impossible. The difficulty of it will break you. We need God all the time, but especially in those moments. Moments like these require extreme levels of chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. Genuine love challenges you to return to the person God made you to be - a reflection of His goodness. This is no easy task. It is an uphill battle against the effects of sin that are so prevalent in our world - especially apathy, a general lack of interest in the battle at hand.

     Love requires sacrifice. We were created out of love, and for love. Therefore, this sacrificial behavior should be what guides our actions on a daily basis. Are you the kind of person who lays down your life consistently, even in the small things? Honest self sacrifice should be evident in all your relationships - not just in a select few. The number of times that I've heard people say things like, "When I'm in a relationship, I am so attentive to my boyfriend's/girlfriend's needs" is appalling. If you honestly believe this about yourself, this is a red flag. Our actions of self sacrifice should never be conditional.

     Once again, as Dr. Sri says, "The way you practice is the way you're going to play the game." For most of us, this is our practice time. College is filled with years of being young, free, and unattached. If we cannot practice love in its most raw and true form now, we will not be able to years from now in our marriages and workplaces.

     If you're living ruled by a watered down version of love, ask God to help you grow. Ask Him to flood you with the graces necessary that you may cultivate the seven virtues in your heart. This will change your life, in the most wonderful of ways. Make 2014 life changing.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us.

Breaking The Habit

     In my last post, I briefly mentioned the practice of focusing on the resurrection instead of the crucifixion. Here's where I've realized this can become a bit problematic. We have an awful habit of planning our own resurrections. I know most of you will read this and probably blow it off thinking, "Nah, I never do that." I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. We all do it, and we do it constantly.

"I'm going to keep my faith strong during this time of unemployment. I just know that if I do, I'll get the position I've been wanting."

"I know that if I just keep praying, my relative will be healed from his life threatening illness."

"I'm sure that if I'm just patient and trust in God's timing, I'll end up dating (insert name)."

     In each one of these scenarios, the desire to keep the faith and persevere though rough waters is there... and that's lovely! But what follows is the belief that we know what the resurrection will look like. Let's be real for a minute, how often in life do things work out exactly according to your plan? God's plans are not only usually very different than ours, but they are so much better.

     This is quite possibly the most difficult thing for me in my faith journey - attempting to strive toward a resurrection God has created for me, instead of one I've imagined myself. How fitting that I be writing this at the very end of the year. Looking back at 2013, I never could have predicted the events of my life throughout the past 12 months. I mean that with every fiber of my being. The current status of my life is 100% different than it was this time last year. And let me tell you, the resurrection I'm currently living looks nothing like the one I had imagined a year ago - it is a million times more wonderful!

     My advice to you, as we begin a new year, is to let go of your image of the perfect resurrection. Give yourself the freedom of watching God do His best work. Don't hold Him back with your amateur blueprints. Take a minute to define the areas in your life right now that feel like moments of crucifixion - your crosses, the difficulties you bear. Then, become aware of your ideal way to "fix" said difficulties. Lastly, let all of those go. I'm totally serious. Every time you find yourself daydreaming about your ideal resurrection, force yourself to think about something else. Offer up a prayer and let God do what He does best. I am promising you right now that you will not be disappointed. He will not only meet your expectations, He will surpass them. 

Resurrection Takes Center Stage

     This Houston girl has been exploring her roots for the past week while vacationing in Mexico. Right now, I'm writing from sunny (and rather humid) Cancun. This change of weather and scenery is absolutely awesome. Being able to walk around in a swimsuit at the end of December is one of the most marvelous things imaginable. In fact, if I were Maria in The Sound of Music, it would be listed in my "Favorite Things" song. 

     Although I'm on vacation, my Catholic duty to attend mass on Sunday doesn't cease. If anything, I'm even more excited about it. Due to some plans we had made for Sunday afternoon, my dad and I decided to attend Saturday evening mass. We ventured into what turned out to be an open-air sanctuary with a rather interesting look. You see, unlike any church I've ever been to, there was not a crucifix front and center. Instead, what took the main stage was a statue of the risen Lord Jesus. It completely threw me off guard. I'll admit, for a while, it even made me slightly uncomfortable. My thoughts were something along the lines of, "This is so wrong. We are completely overlooking the very core of our Christian faith by choosing not to highlight Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. It should be the focus of this very building."

Parroquia de Cristo Resucitado 

     Almost instantly, I realized just how wrong I was. I was completely 100% missing the point. The cross is not the end-all be-all of our faith. If the cross was it, there would be no Christianity. There would be nothing to believe in. Death would have won. However, by the very scenery of the church I was standing in, we know this isn't true. The true core of our Christian faith comes from the fact that Christ defeated death. He literally rose from the dead. The one part of life we know is guaranteed for our human selves, was overcome by Him. That's what the focus should be. This church got it right. 

     How often do we do this to ourselves? We lose perspective and believe that the core of our lives must be our crosses. Oh how foolish we are to allow ourselves to forget that God promises us moments of resurrection. We let the cross become our focus - and our perseverance merely ceases to exist. True perseverance can only come from a hope that there is something in store greater than the trial we currently find ourselves in. Never, not even for a moment, let yourself doubt that something greater is in store. God went to such great lengths as to sacrifice His own son for us in order that we may have a living example of this. 

     Through Christ's resurrection, the enemy was overcome. He hates this. Satan will do anything possible in order that you lose sight of the resurrection and instead become more focused on your cross. But you've got this. You have the spirit of the Lord within you, fighting for you ten times harder than the enemy ever could. Look up, friends. Look up and see the resurrection in front of you. Embrace the cross you're carrying with perseverance, for the prize at the end is far greater than its burden. 

Live For Your Purpose

     My heart was in Indianapolis this weekend. Thousands of high school Catholic teens spent the weekend at NCYC, the National Catholic Youth Conference, "a biennial three-day experience of prayer, community, and empowerment." Unfortunately, college aged Ivonne is spending this weekend in her dorm room studying for an upcoming economics test. Fortunately, I was able to catch Jackie Francois' keynote address on Friday evening though live feed. Thank goodness for technology.
     
     Most of Jackie's talk was centered on the idea that we are made for love. As your typical Catholic school girl, I've heard these words countless times. "Men and women are created in the image and likeness of God. They are made for love. That is their ultimate purpose." For some reason (the Holy Spirit at work) this struck me. The only thought that came to mind was, "If we actually believed that, we would never let anything but kind words escape from our lips."

     Really think about this for a minute. We were made to be images of God. When people look at us, they should see qualities that God possesses. How often do we give off other characteristics? I know for a fact I've given off plenty of other characteristics that definitely are not reflections of God. Just in the past 24 hours I've been patient, kind, loving, generous, and compassionate. However, I've also been sarcastic, dramatic, lazy, selfish, and apathetic. Sometimes, we allow our kind actions to hide the small but numerous actions motivated by qualities other than love.

     I'll admit, this is difficult. Making sure every single one of our actions reflects the image of God can feel nearly impossible. But, with help from the Holy Spirit, we can get better. It has to become habit. This will only come from lots and lots of practice. I challenge you to try this with me. Try it with a friend and really hold each other accountable. Live your life with intention - the intention to do nothing other than radiate the qualities of the incredible God who created you. 

Moments of Crucifixion

     Think about the last time you felt an unbelievable surge of happiness. I'm fairly positive that all of you can replay this moment in your mind, almost perfectly recreating the feelings and emotions that came with it. Sit with that for a moment - that feeling of utter and complete joy. These are the feelings of the resurrection.
   
     Now, you're about to dislike me for a moment. Think about the last time you felt heart wrenching sadness. Really think about it. Force yourself to go back and understand where those feelings were coming from. I'm willing to bet you were feeling much more than just sadness. When sad things happen, hundreds of other feelings often times come rushing in - disappointment, worry, betrayal, confusion, fear, etc. Those are the feelings of the cross.

     Here's where the contradictory part comes in. We, as Christians, have a rather difficult calling to consider feelings of the resurrection during the times of crucifixion.

"Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

- James 1:2-3

     You have to trust me when I say I know this is easier said than done. I'm not pretending to have all the answers. In fact, I struggle with this, a lot. But, here is one of the cool parts of having a blog. In moments like this, you can go back and reread your writing when things in your life were different. I took a look at a post I had written about two months ago, Joyous Christianity. 

"The critical theme in all of these verses is that the source of joy is always the Lord. This is not saying that God underestimates the happiness that we can receive from worldly things... However, God has a history of never "ripping off" his children, we are never offered the "second best." Throughout the Scriptures, every story presents God in such a way where He pours His best out for His children to receive. Likewise, He is making Himself available to us in order that we may partake in the relationship that will bring us more joy than all worldly pleasures combined."

- Joyous Christianity

     If anyone reading feels like they're stuck in the moments of crucifixion, I hope this serves as a small sign of hope. There is an Easter Sunday coming. I don't know when or how, but I believe wholeheartedly that is it coming. Please, remind yourself of that constantly... through all the events of your crucifixion time. Remind yourself of those wonderful resurrection feelings and look forward to their coming.

Note: In the same way that I hope you look to this blog for some insight, I do the same thing. I hope that the following blog posts by other incredible authors will speak to your heart as well.

"Broken"

"What To Do When It Hurts Like Hell"

Take Courage

     Last week, I had the chance to participate in a "Busy Student's Retreat" at the UH Catholic Newman Center. The logistics of this particular retreat were unlike anything I had ever experienced. For 4 days, all participants were asked to commit to 30 minutes of solo scriptural prayer, 30 minutes with a spiritual director, and 30 minutes of community prayer (daily mass/evening prayer). Although I was excited for the retreat, I'll admit that I went in with plenty of hesitation. How fitting that the Busy Student's Retreat took place during my busiest week at college thus far. St. Francis de Sales once said, "Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy - then we need an hour." Well, I was super busy. So naturally, I was assigned to an hour and a half.
   
     During our first meeting, my spiritual director - a lovely woman, Sr. Anita - asked me to share with her my goals for the retreat. She asked, "What do you need to get out of this? What do you want?" It was a loaded question. I answered her simply saying, "Clarity. I need help figuring out what God wants. I want to more clearly see His will above my own plans." Each day, Sr. Anita would give me a passage of scripture to reflect on and share the next day. I dove headfirst into each one. I went word by word trying to somehow interpret the passage in a way where it applied to my search for clarity. Well, it didn't work. Each night, I would find some meaning in the passage, but it was never what I was expecting to hear.
   
     Let me give you an example. On the evening of Tuesday, October 29th, Sr. Anita asked me to read Mark 10:46-52. This is the story of The Blind Bartimaeus. Here's a little summary of the story, in "Ivonne language"...

Jesus and His disciples were walking along the road when they see this guy who's crying out 

"Jesus, have mercy on me!" Jesus notices what's up and tells his disciples, 

"Get him over here." So, the disciples go to the blind guy and say 

"Take courage! He's calling you!" The guy gets all excited and goes to Jesus. 

Jesus asks him, "What do you want me to do for you?" Blind guy says, "I want to see." 

Jesus says, "Alright cool. You can go. You have faith, so you're all good!" 

Then, immediately, the blind guy regained his sight.

     Alright, so I'm reading this thinking, "Well, I'm not blind. So, this obviously has nothing to do with me." But, I couldn't say that to Sr. Anita during my meeting the next afternoon. So, I forced myself to reread it again... and again... and again. I put it down and pretty much gave up. Eventually, I made myself pick it up once more, hoping to come up with something at least remotely useful to share with Sr. Anita. However, this time, it all made sense.

     I was (and at times, still am) the blind Bartimaeus. From the moment I walked into the retreat, all I was praying for was clarity, "I want to see." For the longest time, I had been frustrated that I wasn't getting immediate results. Ahh, but here's the kicker. I never actually did anything other than pray and wait to get answers. Nowhere along the way did I ever exhibit any amount of courage. There's a reason it's the first thing mentioned, folks.

     Most of us young Catholics right now have a huge problem in this department. We stress and worry about whether every single little decision we make is in line with God's plan. We pray unceasingly for the clarity to discern that. But, we don't ever do anything. The question I've begun to ask myself is, "What does taking courage look like for me?" I strongly suggest you ask yourselves the same question. But furthermore, actually answer it. Pinpoint the areas in your life where you need to demonstrate more courage. A friend once told me, "When you pray for courage, God won't give you the sudden sensation of being invincible. Rather, He will give you opportunities to demonstrate courage." I'm willing to bet all of us are given opportunities to demonstrate courage on a daily basis. Let's tackle them together. 

Birthday Blessings

     On October 21st, I celebrated my 19th birthday. Nostalgia hit me and I began to reflect upon the way my life had changed since turning 18 back in 2012. Although it was the hardest year of my life, it was also the one filled with the most blessings. The majority of these blessings came in the form of people - family members, new friends that I met for the first time, and old friends that I grew closer to. In honor of my 19th birthday, I present 19 of my biggest blessings - who they are and what they taught me.

     Please keep in mind, these are in no particular order. Also, I obviously consider my immediate family and oldest/closest friends some of the most incredible people in my life. However, for the sake of this post, I'll focus on the relationships that were recently developed or drastically changed within the last year.

1. Rachel Cantrell
Femininity is a gift that only women are privileged enough to receive. Embrace it fully.

2. Jose Madrid
Never settle for anything less than a man who loves God more than anything else. As a result, he views his sisters in Christ as treasures to be protected.

3. Eugenia Rivero
Living in such a way where your main priority is striving for virtue will bring you endless amounts of happiness and success.


4. Angie Rivero
A cheerful spirit and joyous demeanor is contagious. It has the power to completely change the atmosphere around you. Take advantage of that.

5. Annie Khuong
God puts people in your life at exactly the right time. His timing for friendships is infinitely better than ours is.

6. James Buitran
One of the best ways to invest in a friendship is to simply spend time with people. Take time out of your busy day to really just be with someone.

7. Shane Jones
If someone looks at your friendship and says they "see Jesus" in it, you know you're doing it right.

8. Stephanie Ruiz
If you believe something, you must not only love it, but defend it. Never be afraid to wholeheartedly stand up for what you believe in. Be a witness.

9. Aunt Molly Bringas
We don't become saints by trying to live up to unrealistic and perfect standards of behavior. We do so by living out our days with endless amounts of love.

10. Chris Koeppen
Friendship isn't measured by the amount of time you've known someone. Instead, it's measured by the amount of love you show to the other person not only in times of joy, but also in times of sadness.

11. Alexandria Harrison
There are good days and bad days. No matter which you're handed, always put your best effort forth. Never do anything half way.

12. Nolan Aparicio
Our family members are the first people we're exposed to. From them we develop our morals and foundation. Never take that for granted. They came first for a reason; keep it that way.

13. Chris Eumont
Where your passion meets the needs of the world, therein your vocation lies. If you find a way of life you love to live, you have to develop the courage to live it.

14. Giovan Cuchapin
When God puts someone in your life who genuinely cares for you and wants to see you succeed, treasure that relationship. Listen to what they have to say and let them guide you.

15. Claire McMullin
If you thought of your life as a challenge to "keep the faith," you have to find people that would be quality teammates. Thank God for these people, and never let them go.

16. Dr. Roy Joseph
Academic successes are important. It is necessary to work hard to receive good results. However, this idea extends past academia. It should be the way we approach our relationship with God as well.

17. Alexia Piquet
To be loved involves being fully known. Find people whom you can trust and be vulnerable with them. Your relationship becomes instantly strengthened.

18. Daniel Perez
Siblings often times know you better than you could ever know yourself. Not only is this a great quality to have in a family member, but also one of the best to have in a friend.

19. Grandma Laura Farias
The way you live your life will be remembered. Strive for a life that serves as a witness to God's love even after you've passed away.

     Lord, there are not enough words I can use to express how thankful I am for the impact these people have had on my life. I thank You for another amazing year and I can't wait to see what blessings this next year will hold.

Joyous Christianity

     I think it's time I address an issue that quite a few people have asked me about. Who made up the silly idea that in order to be a faithful and holy person, you have to be boring and grumpy all the time? There is nothing that irritates me more than a "tortured Catholic." I've always had this gnawing suspicion that in order to achieve true holiness, we must experience a certain level of happiness in our lives. Well, go figure, I was right. The Bible is gushing with verses concerning our call to live joyously.

"Go, eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a merry heart, because it is now that God favors your works."

- Ecclesiastes 9:7

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy Spirit."

- Romans 15:13

"... I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and chant praise to the Lord."

- Psalms 27:6

"Restore to me the gladness of your salvation."

- Psalms 51:14

     The critical theme in all of these verses is that the source of joy is always the Lord. This is not saying that God underestimates the happiness that we can receive from worldly things, such as good food (referred to in Ecclesiastes 9:7). However, God has a history of never "ripping off" his children, we are never offered the "second best."  Throughout the Scriptures, every story presents God in such a way where He pours His best out for his children to receive. Likewise, He is making Himself available to us in order that we may partake in the relationship that will bring us more joy than all worldly pleasures combined. Try to grasp that. An intimate relationship with God will make you infinitely times happier than eating your favorite food, while partaking in your favorite activity, surrounded by your favorite people, as a result of your least favorite classes being cancelled. That is a lot of happiness, my friends. 

     

     Some of you may be thinking, "I don't have an intimate relationship with God, but I'm still happy. So chill." I don't doubt it, you probably are happy. In fact, a year ago, I would've made this exact same statement. I was perfectly happy and content with my life, not looking to change anything. Quite frankly, I couldn't imagine being any happier. I'm officially challenging your idea, it is possible. A more joyous life awaits you; I believe that with every fiber of my being. Just try it. Open your heart to a God who is absolutely crazy about you. He literally died in order to be with you.

     

     Here's the key idea. Giving him the chance to form a relationship with you should not mean cutting out all the fun in your life. Instead, you will start to recognize where true goodness lies... and that will bring you more fun and happiness than you could have ever imagined.

Christian speaker, Jeff Vanderstelt, speaks about finding joy in everyday life.

Make Your Call Firm

     From an early age, mediocrity was something my parents warned against. Although it may seem harsh, my family was run in such a way where perfect manners and a shining report card were expected. I believe that this practice has had a tremendous positive influence on my work ethic and my overall success as a person. I was taught to rebel against a culture where being average was enough. However, I will admit the fact that this idea was something my parents preached in regards to academics and behavior. The notion that having a mediocre faith life was unacceptable was never discussed.
     I stumbled across a passage in scripture a few months back that reads, 

"Therefore brothers, be all the more eager to 

make your call and election firm, 

for in doing so, you will never stumble."  

- 2 Peter 1:10

     What really stood out to me were the words, "... make your call and election firm..." What in the world was that supposed to mean? In order to more fully understand, I tried to put it in terms that relate to the life of an average college student. As some of you may know, I am a pre-law student. My goal is to one day make it into a good law school and become an attorney. I have always understood the fact that being a mediocre student was not going to allow me to reach my goal. Although a few C's on a transcript won't stop you from obtaining a degree, you bet it will hinder your ability to make it into law school. As a result, the way I approach my schooling must be tailored given the gravity of my goal. I cannot approach my "call to schooling" in a lax way, it must be "firm" and full of purpose. I proceeded to make a list of ways in which I could make this academic call, "firm." 

Ways A Pre-Law Student Can Make His/Her Call Firm

- Attend required classes (attendance mandatory)

- Attend optional classes (attendance not mandatory), review sessions, etc.

- Learn from a mentor/ advisor 

- Always keep your goal in mind --> Allow it to affect the way you study, think, dress, behave, etc.

     I like to believe that my list (although not complete) includes behaviors that will allow me to make my academic call "firm" and protect me from falling into the temptation of mediocrity. Then I began thinking, if being a mediocre student isn't going to get me into law school in order to one day become an attorney... how could I possibly think that being a mediocre Catholic is going to prepare me to enter into heaven and achieve my goal of becoming a saint? Newsflash, it won't. However, we are living in a society where mediocrity is being not only accepted, but praised! If you tell someone that you are a college student who goes to mass every Sunday but does nothing else to feed your faith, you are still met with shocked expressions by people who admire your habits. We have to fight this. We are not made for mediocrity. We were made in the image and likeness of an amazing God who was anything but mediocre. Let's not insult His divine plan by settling for less than we can achieve. 

Ways A Catholic Can Make His/Her Call Firm

- Attend Sunday mass (attendance mandatory!!!!)

- If available, attend daily mass, bible studies, etc.

- Learn from a spiritual director/ clergy/ religiously educated lay person

- Learn from the canonized saints (Recent blueprints for the way we should be living in order to achieve our goal)

- Always keep your goal in mind --> Your faith shouldn't be one thing among many others in your life. It should be the one thing that all other aspects of your life flow from. (All things that work in accordance with God will be beneficial to you.)

     I am constantly searching for new practices to add to this list. If you have any ideas, as always please feel free to share. My prayer for all of you, as well as myself, is that we remember to work just as hard (if not harder) to make our spiritual call as firm as our academic call.

Forget Rules, Teach Respect

     On a daily basis, I realize how blessed I am to have two of the world's greatest parents. It surprises people when I tell them that we didn't have very many "rules" in my family when I was growing up. Normally, you'd think this would be a recipe for chaos. My parents, in the running of our home, made the decision to implement something more important than rules. They instilled in my brother and me a sense of respect. This idea of respecting myself and those around me was the means by which I tested all of my decisions. You'll find that many of the "rule breaking" behaviors that kids partake in would not hold up to this same test. When a child learns respect, his actions radiate it. Not only will this lead to a decrease in bad behavior, but an increase in good and friendly behavior as well. 

     Working as a camp counselor, I'm exposed to many different children daily. All of these kids have been parented differently. The ones that have been taught respect stick out like a sore thumb. In fact, I could list them all right now. Likewise, those that have not been taught respect quickly become infamous among their peers and counselors. 

     It's incredibly sad to say, but the amount of kids that lack respect far outnumber the amount of kids that actively practice it. This is something that parents have an obligation to teach their children. If they don't, no one else will. 

     I thank the good Lord that my parents taught me respect. Furthermore, I ask that He equip me to become the same type of parent one day.

End of rant.