Live For Your Purpose

     My heart was in Indianapolis this weekend. Thousands of high school Catholic teens spent the weekend at NCYC, the National Catholic Youth Conference, "a biennial three-day experience of prayer, community, and empowerment." Unfortunately, college aged Ivonne is spending this weekend in her dorm room studying for an upcoming economics test. Fortunately, I was able to catch Jackie Francois' keynote address on Friday evening though live feed. Thank goodness for technology.
     
     Most of Jackie's talk was centered on the idea that we are made for love. As your typical Catholic school girl, I've heard these words countless times. "Men and women are created in the image and likeness of God. They are made for love. That is their ultimate purpose." For some reason (the Holy Spirit at work) this struck me. The only thought that came to mind was, "If we actually believed that, we would never let anything but kind words escape from our lips."

     Really think about this for a minute. We were made to be images of God. When people look at us, they should see qualities that God possesses. How often do we give off other characteristics? I know for a fact I've given off plenty of other characteristics that definitely are not reflections of God. Just in the past 24 hours I've been patient, kind, loving, generous, and compassionate. However, I've also been sarcastic, dramatic, lazy, selfish, and apathetic. Sometimes, we allow our kind actions to hide the small but numerous actions motivated by qualities other than love.

     I'll admit, this is difficult. Making sure every single one of our actions reflects the image of God can feel nearly impossible. But, with help from the Holy Spirit, we can get better. It has to become habit. This will only come from lots and lots of practice. I challenge you to try this with me. Try it with a friend and really hold each other accountable. Live your life with intention - the intention to do nothing other than radiate the qualities of the incredible God who created you. 

Moments of Crucifixion

     Think about the last time you felt an unbelievable surge of happiness. I'm fairly positive that all of you can replay this moment in your mind, almost perfectly recreating the feelings and emotions that came with it. Sit with that for a moment - that feeling of utter and complete joy. These are the feelings of the resurrection.
   
     Now, you're about to dislike me for a moment. Think about the last time you felt heart wrenching sadness. Really think about it. Force yourself to go back and understand where those feelings were coming from. I'm willing to bet you were feeling much more than just sadness. When sad things happen, hundreds of other feelings often times come rushing in - disappointment, worry, betrayal, confusion, fear, etc. Those are the feelings of the cross.

     Here's where the contradictory part comes in. We, as Christians, have a rather difficult calling to consider feelings of the resurrection during the times of crucifixion.

"Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

- James 1:2-3

     You have to trust me when I say I know this is easier said than done. I'm not pretending to have all the answers. In fact, I struggle with this, a lot. But, here is one of the cool parts of having a blog. In moments like this, you can go back and reread your writing when things in your life were different. I took a look at a post I had written about two months ago, Joyous Christianity. 

"The critical theme in all of these verses is that the source of joy is always the Lord. This is not saying that God underestimates the happiness that we can receive from worldly things... However, God has a history of never "ripping off" his children, we are never offered the "second best." Throughout the Scriptures, every story presents God in such a way where He pours His best out for His children to receive. Likewise, He is making Himself available to us in order that we may partake in the relationship that will bring us more joy than all worldly pleasures combined."

- Joyous Christianity

     If anyone reading feels like they're stuck in the moments of crucifixion, I hope this serves as a small sign of hope. There is an Easter Sunday coming. I don't know when or how, but I believe wholeheartedly that is it coming. Please, remind yourself of that constantly... through all the events of your crucifixion time. Remind yourself of those wonderful resurrection feelings and look forward to their coming.

Note: In the same way that I hope you look to this blog for some insight, I do the same thing. I hope that the following blog posts by other incredible authors will speak to your heart as well.

"Broken"

"What To Do When It Hurts Like Hell"

Take Courage

     Last week, I had the chance to participate in a "Busy Student's Retreat" at the UH Catholic Newman Center. The logistics of this particular retreat were unlike anything I had ever experienced. For 4 days, all participants were asked to commit to 30 minutes of solo scriptural prayer, 30 minutes with a spiritual director, and 30 minutes of community prayer (daily mass/evening prayer). Although I was excited for the retreat, I'll admit that I went in with plenty of hesitation. How fitting that the Busy Student's Retreat took place during my busiest week at college thus far. St. Francis de Sales once said, "Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy - then we need an hour." Well, I was super busy. So naturally, I was assigned to an hour and a half.
   
     During our first meeting, my spiritual director - a lovely woman, Sr. Anita - asked me to share with her my goals for the retreat. She asked, "What do you need to get out of this? What do you want?" It was a loaded question. I answered her simply saying, "Clarity. I need help figuring out what God wants. I want to more clearly see His will above my own plans." Each day, Sr. Anita would give me a passage of scripture to reflect on and share the next day. I dove headfirst into each one. I went word by word trying to somehow interpret the passage in a way where it applied to my search for clarity. Well, it didn't work. Each night, I would find some meaning in the passage, but it was never what I was expecting to hear.
   
     Let me give you an example. On the evening of Tuesday, October 29th, Sr. Anita asked me to read Mark 10:46-52. This is the story of The Blind Bartimaeus. Here's a little summary of the story, in "Ivonne language"...

Jesus and His disciples were walking along the road when they see this guy who's crying out 

"Jesus, have mercy on me!" Jesus notices what's up and tells his disciples, 

"Get him over here." So, the disciples go to the blind guy and say 

"Take courage! He's calling you!" The guy gets all excited and goes to Jesus. 

Jesus asks him, "What do you want me to do for you?" Blind guy says, "I want to see." 

Jesus says, "Alright cool. You can go. You have faith, so you're all good!" 

Then, immediately, the blind guy regained his sight.

     Alright, so I'm reading this thinking, "Well, I'm not blind. So, this obviously has nothing to do with me." But, I couldn't say that to Sr. Anita during my meeting the next afternoon. So, I forced myself to reread it again... and again... and again. I put it down and pretty much gave up. Eventually, I made myself pick it up once more, hoping to come up with something at least remotely useful to share with Sr. Anita. However, this time, it all made sense.

     I was (and at times, still am) the blind Bartimaeus. From the moment I walked into the retreat, all I was praying for was clarity, "I want to see." For the longest time, I had been frustrated that I wasn't getting immediate results. Ahh, but here's the kicker. I never actually did anything other than pray and wait to get answers. Nowhere along the way did I ever exhibit any amount of courage. There's a reason it's the first thing mentioned, folks.

     Most of us young Catholics right now have a huge problem in this department. We stress and worry about whether every single little decision we make is in line with God's plan. We pray unceasingly for the clarity to discern that. But, we don't ever do anything. The question I've begun to ask myself is, "What does taking courage look like for me?" I strongly suggest you ask yourselves the same question. But furthermore, actually answer it. Pinpoint the areas in your life where you need to demonstrate more courage. A friend once told me, "When you pray for courage, God won't give you the sudden sensation of being invincible. Rather, He will give you opportunities to demonstrate courage." I'm willing to bet all of us are given opportunities to demonstrate courage on a daily basis. Let's tackle them together.