Breaking The Habit

     In my last post, I briefly mentioned the practice of focusing on the resurrection instead of the crucifixion. Here's where I've realized this can become a bit problematic. We have an awful habit of planning our own resurrections. I know most of you will read this and probably blow it off thinking, "Nah, I never do that." I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. We all do it, and we do it constantly.

"I'm going to keep my faith strong during this time of unemployment. I just know that if I do, I'll get the position I've been wanting."

"I know that if I just keep praying, my relative will be healed from his life threatening illness."

"I'm sure that if I'm just patient and trust in God's timing, I'll end up dating (insert name)."

     In each one of these scenarios, the desire to keep the faith and persevere though rough waters is there... and that's lovely! But what follows is the belief that we know what the resurrection will look like. Let's be real for a minute, how often in life do things work out exactly according to your plan? God's plans are not only usually very different than ours, but they are so much better.

     This is quite possibly the most difficult thing for me in my faith journey - attempting to strive toward a resurrection God has created for me, instead of one I've imagined myself. How fitting that I be writing this at the very end of the year. Looking back at 2013, I never could have predicted the events of my life throughout the past 12 months. I mean that with every fiber of my being. The current status of my life is 100% different than it was this time last year. And let me tell you, the resurrection I'm currently living looks nothing like the one I had imagined a year ago - it is a million times more wonderful!

     My advice to you, as we begin a new year, is to let go of your image of the perfect resurrection. Give yourself the freedom of watching God do His best work. Don't hold Him back with your amateur blueprints. Take a minute to define the areas in your life right now that feel like moments of crucifixion - your crosses, the difficulties you bear. Then, become aware of your ideal way to "fix" said difficulties. Lastly, let all of those go. I'm totally serious. Every time you find yourself daydreaming about your ideal resurrection, force yourself to think about something else. Offer up a prayer and let God do what He does best. I am promising you right now that you will not be disappointed. He will not only meet your expectations, He will surpass them. 

Resurrection Takes Center Stage

     This Houston girl has been exploring her roots for the past week while vacationing in Mexico. Right now, I'm writing from sunny (and rather humid) Cancun. This change of weather and scenery is absolutely awesome. Being able to walk around in a swimsuit at the end of December is one of the most marvelous things imaginable. In fact, if I were Maria in The Sound of Music, it would be listed in my "Favorite Things" song. 

     Although I'm on vacation, my Catholic duty to attend mass on Sunday doesn't cease. If anything, I'm even more excited about it. Due to some plans we had made for Sunday afternoon, my dad and I decided to attend Saturday evening mass. We ventured into what turned out to be an open-air sanctuary with a rather interesting look. You see, unlike any church I've ever been to, there was not a crucifix front and center. Instead, what took the main stage was a statue of the risen Lord Jesus. It completely threw me off guard. I'll admit, for a while, it even made me slightly uncomfortable. My thoughts were something along the lines of, "This is so wrong. We are completely overlooking the very core of our Christian faith by choosing not to highlight Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. It should be the focus of this very building."

Parroquia de Cristo Resucitado 

     Almost instantly, I realized just how wrong I was. I was completely 100% missing the point. The cross is not the end-all be-all of our faith. If the cross was it, there would be no Christianity. There would be nothing to believe in. Death would have won. However, by the very scenery of the church I was standing in, we know this isn't true. The true core of our Christian faith comes from the fact that Christ defeated death. He literally rose from the dead. The one part of life we know is guaranteed for our human selves, was overcome by Him. That's what the focus should be. This church got it right. 

     How often do we do this to ourselves? We lose perspective and believe that the core of our lives must be our crosses. Oh how foolish we are to allow ourselves to forget that God promises us moments of resurrection. We let the cross become our focus - and our perseverance merely ceases to exist. True perseverance can only come from a hope that there is something in store greater than the trial we currently find ourselves in. Never, not even for a moment, let yourself doubt that something greater is in store. God went to such great lengths as to sacrifice His own son for us in order that we may have a living example of this. 

     Through Christ's resurrection, the enemy was overcome. He hates this. Satan will do anything possible in order that you lose sight of the resurrection and instead become more focused on your cross. But you've got this. You have the spirit of the Lord within you, fighting for you ten times harder than the enemy ever could. Look up, friends. Look up and see the resurrection in front of you. Embrace the cross you're carrying with perseverance, for the prize at the end is far greater than its burden. 

Live For Your Purpose

     My heart was in Indianapolis this weekend. Thousands of high school Catholic teens spent the weekend at NCYC, the National Catholic Youth Conference, "a biennial three-day experience of prayer, community, and empowerment." Unfortunately, college aged Ivonne is spending this weekend in her dorm room studying for an upcoming economics test. Fortunately, I was able to catch Jackie Francois' keynote address on Friday evening though live feed. Thank goodness for technology.
     
     Most of Jackie's talk was centered on the idea that we are made for love. As your typical Catholic school girl, I've heard these words countless times. "Men and women are created in the image and likeness of God. They are made for love. That is their ultimate purpose." For some reason (the Holy Spirit at work) this struck me. The only thought that came to mind was, "If we actually believed that, we would never let anything but kind words escape from our lips."

     Really think about this for a minute. We were made to be images of God. When people look at us, they should see qualities that God possesses. How often do we give off other characteristics? I know for a fact I've given off plenty of other characteristics that definitely are not reflections of God. Just in the past 24 hours I've been patient, kind, loving, generous, and compassionate. However, I've also been sarcastic, dramatic, lazy, selfish, and apathetic. Sometimes, we allow our kind actions to hide the small but numerous actions motivated by qualities other than love.

     I'll admit, this is difficult. Making sure every single one of our actions reflects the image of God can feel nearly impossible. But, with help from the Holy Spirit, we can get better. It has to become habit. This will only come from lots and lots of practice. I challenge you to try this with me. Try it with a friend and really hold each other accountable. Live your life with intention - the intention to do nothing other than radiate the qualities of the incredible God who created you. 

Moments of Crucifixion

     Think about the last time you felt an unbelievable surge of happiness. I'm fairly positive that all of you can replay this moment in your mind, almost perfectly recreating the feelings and emotions that came with it. Sit with that for a moment - that feeling of utter and complete joy. These are the feelings of the resurrection.
   
     Now, you're about to dislike me for a moment. Think about the last time you felt heart wrenching sadness. Really think about it. Force yourself to go back and understand where those feelings were coming from. I'm willing to bet you were feeling much more than just sadness. When sad things happen, hundreds of other feelings often times come rushing in - disappointment, worry, betrayal, confusion, fear, etc. Those are the feelings of the cross.

     Here's where the contradictory part comes in. We, as Christians, have a rather difficult calling to consider feelings of the resurrection during the times of crucifixion.

"Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

- James 1:2-3

     You have to trust me when I say I know this is easier said than done. I'm not pretending to have all the answers. In fact, I struggle with this, a lot. But, here is one of the cool parts of having a blog. In moments like this, you can go back and reread your writing when things in your life were different. I took a look at a post I had written about two months ago, Joyous Christianity. 

"The critical theme in all of these verses is that the source of joy is always the Lord. This is not saying that God underestimates the happiness that we can receive from worldly things... However, God has a history of never "ripping off" his children, we are never offered the "second best." Throughout the Scriptures, every story presents God in such a way where He pours His best out for His children to receive. Likewise, He is making Himself available to us in order that we may partake in the relationship that will bring us more joy than all worldly pleasures combined."

- Joyous Christianity

     If anyone reading feels like they're stuck in the moments of crucifixion, I hope this serves as a small sign of hope. There is an Easter Sunday coming. I don't know when or how, but I believe wholeheartedly that is it coming. Please, remind yourself of that constantly... through all the events of your crucifixion time. Remind yourself of those wonderful resurrection feelings and look forward to their coming.

Note: In the same way that I hope you look to this blog for some insight, I do the same thing. I hope that the following blog posts by other incredible authors will speak to your heart as well.

"Broken"

"What To Do When It Hurts Like Hell"

Take Courage

     Last week, I had the chance to participate in a "Busy Student's Retreat" at the UH Catholic Newman Center. The logistics of this particular retreat were unlike anything I had ever experienced. For 4 days, all participants were asked to commit to 30 minutes of solo scriptural prayer, 30 minutes with a spiritual director, and 30 minutes of community prayer (daily mass/evening prayer). Although I was excited for the retreat, I'll admit that I went in with plenty of hesitation. How fitting that the Busy Student's Retreat took place during my busiest week at college thus far. St. Francis de Sales once said, "Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy - then we need an hour." Well, I was super busy. So naturally, I was assigned to an hour and a half.
   
     During our first meeting, my spiritual director - a lovely woman, Sr. Anita - asked me to share with her my goals for the retreat. She asked, "What do you need to get out of this? What do you want?" It was a loaded question. I answered her simply saying, "Clarity. I need help figuring out what God wants. I want to more clearly see His will above my own plans." Each day, Sr. Anita would give me a passage of scripture to reflect on and share the next day. I dove headfirst into each one. I went word by word trying to somehow interpret the passage in a way where it applied to my search for clarity. Well, it didn't work. Each night, I would find some meaning in the passage, but it was never what I was expecting to hear.
   
     Let me give you an example. On the evening of Tuesday, October 29th, Sr. Anita asked me to read Mark 10:46-52. This is the story of The Blind Bartimaeus. Here's a little summary of the story, in "Ivonne language"...

Jesus and His disciples were walking along the road when they see this guy who's crying out 

"Jesus, have mercy on me!" Jesus notices what's up and tells his disciples, 

"Get him over here." So, the disciples go to the blind guy and say 

"Take courage! He's calling you!" The guy gets all excited and goes to Jesus. 

Jesus asks him, "What do you want me to do for you?" Blind guy says, "I want to see." 

Jesus says, "Alright cool. You can go. You have faith, so you're all good!" 

Then, immediately, the blind guy regained his sight.

     Alright, so I'm reading this thinking, "Well, I'm not blind. So, this obviously has nothing to do with me." But, I couldn't say that to Sr. Anita during my meeting the next afternoon. So, I forced myself to reread it again... and again... and again. I put it down and pretty much gave up. Eventually, I made myself pick it up once more, hoping to come up with something at least remotely useful to share with Sr. Anita. However, this time, it all made sense.

     I was (and at times, still am) the blind Bartimaeus. From the moment I walked into the retreat, all I was praying for was clarity, "I want to see." For the longest time, I had been frustrated that I wasn't getting immediate results. Ahh, but here's the kicker. I never actually did anything other than pray and wait to get answers. Nowhere along the way did I ever exhibit any amount of courage. There's a reason it's the first thing mentioned, folks.

     Most of us young Catholics right now have a huge problem in this department. We stress and worry about whether every single little decision we make is in line with God's plan. We pray unceasingly for the clarity to discern that. But, we don't ever do anything. The question I've begun to ask myself is, "What does taking courage look like for me?" I strongly suggest you ask yourselves the same question. But furthermore, actually answer it. Pinpoint the areas in your life where you need to demonstrate more courage. A friend once told me, "When you pray for courage, God won't give you the sudden sensation of being invincible. Rather, He will give you opportunities to demonstrate courage." I'm willing to bet all of us are given opportunities to demonstrate courage on a daily basis. Let's tackle them together. 

Birthday Blessings

     On October 21st, I celebrated my 19th birthday. Nostalgia hit me and I began to reflect upon the way my life had changed since turning 18 back in 2012. Although it was the hardest year of my life, it was also the one filled with the most blessings. The majority of these blessings came in the form of people - family members, new friends that I met for the first time, and old friends that I grew closer to. In honor of my 19th birthday, I present 19 of my biggest blessings - who they are and what they taught me.

     Please keep in mind, these are in no particular order. Also, I obviously consider my immediate family and oldest/closest friends some of the most incredible people in my life. However, for the sake of this post, I'll focus on the relationships that were recently developed or drastically changed within the last year.

1. Rachel Cantrell
Femininity is a gift that only women are privileged enough to receive. Embrace it fully.

2. Jose Madrid
Never settle for anything less than a man who loves God more than anything else. As a result, he views his sisters in Christ as treasures to be protected.

3. Eugenia Rivero
Living in such a way where your main priority is striving for virtue will bring you endless amounts of happiness and success.


4. Angie Rivero
A cheerful spirit and joyous demeanor is contagious. It has the power to completely change the atmosphere around you. Take advantage of that.

5. Annie Khuong
God puts people in your life at exactly the right time. His timing for friendships is infinitely better than ours is.

6. James Buitran
One of the best ways to invest in a friendship is to simply spend time with people. Take time out of your busy day to really just be with someone.

7. Shane Jones
If someone looks at your friendship and says they "see Jesus" in it, you know you're doing it right.

8. Stephanie Ruiz
If you believe something, you must not only love it, but defend it. Never be afraid to wholeheartedly stand up for what you believe in. Be a witness.

9. Aunt Molly Bringas
We don't become saints by trying to live up to unrealistic and perfect standards of behavior. We do so by living out our days with endless amounts of love.

10. Chris Koeppen
Friendship isn't measured by the amount of time you've known someone. Instead, it's measured by the amount of love you show to the other person not only in times of joy, but also in times of sadness.

11. Alexandria Harrison
There are good days and bad days. No matter which you're handed, always put your best effort forth. Never do anything half way.

12. Nolan Aparicio
Our family members are the first people we're exposed to. From them we develop our morals and foundation. Never take that for granted. They came first for a reason; keep it that way.

13. Chris Eumont
Where your passion meets the needs of the world, therein your vocation lies. If you find a way of life you love to live, you have to develop the courage to live it.

14. Giovan Cuchapin
When God puts someone in your life who genuinely cares for you and wants to see you succeed, treasure that relationship. Listen to what they have to say and let them guide you.

15. Claire McMullin
If you thought of your life as a challenge to "keep the faith," you have to find people that would be quality teammates. Thank God for these people, and never let them go.

16. Dr. Roy Joseph
Academic successes are important. It is necessary to work hard to receive good results. However, this idea extends past academia. It should be the way we approach our relationship with God as well.

17. Alexia Piquet
To be loved involves being fully known. Find people whom you can trust and be vulnerable with them. Your relationship becomes instantly strengthened.

18. Daniel Perez
Siblings often times know you better than you could ever know yourself. Not only is this a great quality to have in a family member, but also one of the best to have in a friend.

19. Grandma Laura Farias
The way you live your life will be remembered. Strive for a life that serves as a witness to God's love even after you've passed away.

     Lord, there are not enough words I can use to express how thankful I am for the impact these people have had on my life. I thank You for another amazing year and I can't wait to see what blessings this next year will hold.

Joyous Christianity

     I think it's time I address an issue that quite a few people have asked me about. Who made up the silly idea that in order to be a faithful and holy person, you have to be boring and grumpy all the time? There is nothing that irritates me more than a "tortured Catholic." I've always had this gnawing suspicion that in order to achieve true holiness, we must experience a certain level of happiness in our lives. Well, go figure, I was right. The Bible is gushing with verses concerning our call to live joyously.

"Go, eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a merry heart, because it is now that God favors your works."

- Ecclesiastes 9:7

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy Spirit."

- Romans 15:13

"... I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and chant praise to the Lord."

- Psalms 27:6

"Restore to me the gladness of your salvation."

- Psalms 51:14

     The critical theme in all of these verses is that the source of joy is always the Lord. This is not saying that God underestimates the happiness that we can receive from worldly things, such as good food (referred to in Ecclesiastes 9:7). However, God has a history of never "ripping off" his children, we are never offered the "second best."  Throughout the Scriptures, every story presents God in such a way where He pours His best out for his children to receive. Likewise, He is making Himself available to us in order that we may partake in the relationship that will bring us more joy than all worldly pleasures combined. Try to grasp that. An intimate relationship with God will make you infinitely times happier than eating your favorite food, while partaking in your favorite activity, surrounded by your favorite people, as a result of your least favorite classes being cancelled. That is a lot of happiness, my friends. 

     

     Some of you may be thinking, "I don't have an intimate relationship with God, but I'm still happy. So chill." I don't doubt it, you probably are happy. In fact, a year ago, I would've made this exact same statement. I was perfectly happy and content with my life, not looking to change anything. Quite frankly, I couldn't imagine being any happier. I'm officially challenging your idea, it is possible. A more joyous life awaits you; I believe that with every fiber of my being. Just try it. Open your heart to a God who is absolutely crazy about you. He literally died in order to be with you.

     

     Here's the key idea. Giving him the chance to form a relationship with you should not mean cutting out all the fun in your life. Instead, you will start to recognize where true goodness lies... and that will bring you more fun and happiness than you could have ever imagined.

Christian speaker, Jeff Vanderstelt, speaks about finding joy in everyday life.

Make Your Call Firm

     From an early age, mediocrity was something my parents warned against. Although it may seem harsh, my family was run in such a way where perfect manners and a shining report card were expected. I believe that this practice has had a tremendous positive influence on my work ethic and my overall success as a person. I was taught to rebel against a culture where being average was enough. However, I will admit the fact that this idea was something my parents preached in regards to academics and behavior. The notion that having a mediocre faith life was unacceptable was never discussed.
     I stumbled across a passage in scripture a few months back that reads, 

"Therefore brothers, be all the more eager to 

make your call and election firm, 

for in doing so, you will never stumble."  

- 2 Peter 1:10

     What really stood out to me were the words, "... make your call and election firm..." What in the world was that supposed to mean? In order to more fully understand, I tried to put it in terms that relate to the life of an average college student. As some of you may know, I am a pre-law student. My goal is to one day make it into a good law school and become an attorney. I have always understood the fact that being a mediocre student was not going to allow me to reach my goal. Although a few C's on a transcript won't stop you from obtaining a degree, you bet it will hinder your ability to make it into law school. As a result, the way I approach my schooling must be tailored given the gravity of my goal. I cannot approach my "call to schooling" in a lax way, it must be "firm" and full of purpose. I proceeded to make a list of ways in which I could make this academic call, "firm." 

Ways A Pre-Law Student Can Make His/Her Call Firm

- Attend required classes (attendance mandatory)

- Attend optional classes (attendance not mandatory), review sessions, etc.

- Learn from a mentor/ advisor 

- Always keep your goal in mind --> Allow it to affect the way you study, think, dress, behave, etc.

     I like to believe that my list (although not complete) includes behaviors that will allow me to make my academic call "firm" and protect me from falling into the temptation of mediocrity. Then I began thinking, if being a mediocre student isn't going to get me into law school in order to one day become an attorney... how could I possibly think that being a mediocre Catholic is going to prepare me to enter into heaven and achieve my goal of becoming a saint? Newsflash, it won't. However, we are living in a society where mediocrity is being not only accepted, but praised! If you tell someone that you are a college student who goes to mass every Sunday but does nothing else to feed your faith, you are still met with shocked expressions by people who admire your habits. We have to fight this. We are not made for mediocrity. We were made in the image and likeness of an amazing God who was anything but mediocre. Let's not insult His divine plan by settling for less than we can achieve. 

Ways A Catholic Can Make His/Her Call Firm

- Attend Sunday mass (attendance mandatory!!!!)

- If available, attend daily mass, bible studies, etc.

- Learn from a spiritual director/ clergy/ religiously educated lay person

- Learn from the canonized saints (Recent blueprints for the way we should be living in order to achieve our goal)

- Always keep your goal in mind --> Your faith shouldn't be one thing among many others in your life. It should be the one thing that all other aspects of your life flow from. (All things that work in accordance with God will be beneficial to you.)

     I am constantly searching for new practices to add to this list. If you have any ideas, as always please feel free to share. My prayer for all of you, as well as myself, is that we remember to work just as hard (if not harder) to make our spiritual call as firm as our academic call.

Forget Rules, Teach Respect

     On a daily basis, I realize how blessed I am to have two of the world's greatest parents. It surprises people when I tell them that we didn't have very many "rules" in my family when I was growing up. Normally, you'd think this would be a recipe for chaos. My parents, in the running of our home, made the decision to implement something more important than rules. They instilled in my brother and me a sense of respect. This idea of respecting myself and those around me was the means by which I tested all of my decisions. You'll find that many of the "rule breaking" behaviors that kids partake in would not hold up to this same test. When a child learns respect, his actions radiate it. Not only will this lead to a decrease in bad behavior, but an increase in good and friendly behavior as well. 

     Working as a camp counselor, I'm exposed to many different children daily. All of these kids have been parented differently. The ones that have been taught respect stick out like a sore thumb. In fact, I could list them all right now. Likewise, those that have not been taught respect quickly become infamous among their peers and counselors. 

     It's incredibly sad to say, but the amount of kids that lack respect far outnumber the amount of kids that actively practice it. This is something that parents have an obligation to teach their children. If they don't, no one else will. 

     I thank the good Lord that my parents taught me respect. Furthermore, I ask that He equip me to become the same type of parent one day.

End of rant. 

Living Tributes

     Within the past month, a lot of craziness has been happening in my usually simple life. On Thursday, June 20th, my grandmother Laura Farias passed away. She had been seriously sick for the past 10-12 months, so it was somewhat expected. Nevertheless, death is never something that comes easily, regardless of how long you had to prepare. Within hours, plenty of people started arriving at my house. Before I knew it, my home went from housing 4 people to hosting 18 loud and emotional Farias family members. To say it was difficult is an understatement. You see, since summer started, I had been living a very self-centered life. I would wake up, go to work (before anyone else), spend 8 hours at my job (with my phone off), come back home for a few minutes (while everyone else was at work), spend a few more hours at other job (again with my phone off), and eventually come back home (everyone else already in bed/going to bed). I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself. When my grandmother died, I suddenly had to devote all 24 hours of my day to my family. In fact, it was so stressful that I ended up leaving in the middle of family time to take a walk around my neighborhood. During that time, I admitted to myself that I was mad. I was grumpy about having to take a week off of work, I was grumpy about having to share my house with all these people, I was just grumpy pants. Then, I felt disgusted with myself for even daring to feel this way... how selfish of me to only be thinking about the way I was being inconvenienced. I returned to my house feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and just downright sad. 
     Upon opening the door, I was greeted by my mother. We sat on the couch together and talked for a few minutes. Imagine my surprise when she suddenly asked if I would say the eulogy at my grandmother's funeral. My first thought, "No way." Out of all people, she was asking me? I was being the most selfish and bratty daughter imaginable, and yet I was the one chosen to deliver my grandmother's tribute? I thought there was surely something wrong with this picture. 
     Well, after days of writing and rewriting, I finalized the eulogy and delivered it on the day of her vigil in Houston and her funeral mass in Los Angeles. I had a shocking amount of people come up to me after both services complimenting me on what I had written. I was sincerely humbled. I never thought I was worthy enough to complete such a task, but I was chosen and did it anyway. 
     It's incredible how even the smallest moments of our lives are reflections of our relationship with God. Each and every day we are called to be a living and breathing tribute to Him. Unlike a eulogy, it is not something we can write one day, recite the next, and then forget about. Our calling from God is much greater. No matter how unworthy we may feel, He has chosen us. He is constantly choosing us. Every day He chooses us and waits for us to respond to His request. How easy of me it would have been to ask my mother to choose someone else to deliver the eulogy. In the same way, how easy it is to wait for someone else to be the "holy one." But, how lame is that? Consider all the wonderful experiences we could miss out on. By writing my grandmother's tribute, I felt like I had grown closer to her (even after she had passed). I can only imagine the incredible experiences we could have if we chose to live as Christ's tribute. 

Beautiful Quotes

The Wonder of the Wonderful

     I consider "wonderful" to be such an uplifting word. It sounds so much better to describe someone as "wonderful," rather than just "good" or "awesome." I came across Phil Wickham's song, Wonderful not too long ago and was hooked. I'm telling you, there is just something about that word that captivates me. 
     The actual definition of wonderful is, "inspiring delight." Wow. To be a delightful person is one thing, but to actually inspire others to feel that same way is a gift. I think the definition pretty much speaks for itself. I really don't have much more to say about this but I can assure you it is something I am going to be reflecting on and striving for continuously! 

Much love.

Around the Round

     As y'all may have noticed, "Splendid Surprises" is now "Around the Round!" This spontaneous name change was actually not as spur of the moment as you may think. I had thought about changing the name of the blog for a while to something more appropriate. Trust me, I loved the alliteration that I had going on, but "Splendid Surprises" really had nothing to do with the content of my writing. Don't ask how I got the name in the first place, because I really don't remember.
     I asked my dear friend Nathalie for her advice on the new title and she came up with the idea behind "Around the Round." For as long as I can remember, my house has been the "go-to" place for family and friend reunions. On any given night, there are bound to be people sitting at my kitchen table who do not actually live in my home. Throughout the past five years or so, I've noticed that many of the best conversations between friends and family were had at that same table. I came to the conclusion that round tables seem to facilitate easier conversation. While sitting at a rectangular table, it's fairly easy to avoid making eye contact with others. At a round table however, nothing goes unnoticed. The facial expressions and body language of those seated are blatantly exposed for the rest of the group to see. Although this may sound terrifying, it changes the dynamic of a conversation. The atmosphere goes from that of a business meeting to that of a family dinner.

     My hope for this blog is that it be a place where none of my thoughts or emotions go unnoticed. This humble little corner of the internet is where my deepest ponderings become exposed, completely unfiltered and obviously transparent. Included with each post is my invitation for all of you to take a moment and join the discussion at my round table. 

Divine Refill

     My last post (which I'm sorry to say was written almost a month ago) was comprised of my thoughts on the importance of guarding one's heart. I've spent a lot of time in prayer over this particular topic. As I mentioned previously, this is one area with which I have always struggled. God was definitely listening to my prayers and I'm fairly certain that He revealed a vital piece of information to me tonight. 
     Tonight at homecoming dinner (weekly gathering of college students from my home parish) my new friend Chris shared, "We are called to love until we feel empty. When we've given all of our own love, that's when God comes in. At that point, it is His love that is being shown through us." With all true love comes the risk of true heartache. It is through Him alone that we are able to continue to love another even after our human heart has been so badly bruised that it feels completely empty. 
     Sadly enough, the relationships we put the most love into are sometimes also the ones that leave our hearts feeling drained. In fact, I was listening to Fall Out Boy's latest album not too long ago and came across some lyrics that spoke about this same phenomenon, "Sometimes, before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger." There are moments in our relationships where the darkness can get pretty big. It is in those times where our hearts feel empty. But God never abandons us! We have the ability to overcome these moments of darkness. I'm sure you've either experienced this yourself or have witnessed it through someone else... Your heart feels completely empty and useless but you somehow manage to forgive and continue loving with the same amount (if not more) of joy and zeal as before. That is a miracle, my friends. It's a miracle performed by none other than the Holy Spirit. 
     I challenge all of you to welcome the Holy Spirit always, but especially in those moments where the darkness is big and your heart is empty. Our human love can only go so far, but God's love is never ending. He wants to refill us. Let Him.
     

Guard Your Heart

     Someone recently described me as a, "very relational person." This slightly offbeat description puzzled me. He even went so far as to say that I "wear my heart on my sleeve" in a sense. I didn't like that statement. I've always been warned against this practice for the simple reason that it opens up the opportunity for all types of hurt to come in. Upon further reflection however, I've realized that I have indeed been "wearing my heart on my sleeve" for the majority of my life.

     I've struggled with the practice of keeping love at the center of all my actions while still guarding my heart in the process. I didn't understand how it was possible to be truly kind and loving while still holding back parts of your heart in an effort to stay protected. To be completely honest, I still don't entirely comprehend it.

     However, I have come to recognize the extreme importance of guarding one's heart. God warns us about this relentlessly throughout scripture. Proverbs 4:23 states, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." I feel like we as women (especially Catholic women) constantly hear about the duty we have to protect our purity. Even more often, we hear the dangers that could arise if we fail to do so. We commonly ignore the truth that the consequences of recklessly opening the gates to our heart (in other ways besides physical intimacy) can be just as detrimental. 

     I wish I could write an entire post on ways to put this practice of guarding instead of just "giving away" into action. But, like I mentioned, I'm not sure how to do this myself. I'm confident that through prayer and reflection, God will reveal to all of us how to best do this in accordance with the circumstances of our lives.

     In the meantime, I recommend checking out this post, "Emotional Chastity " written by Tess over at "The Catholic Young Woman." She writes an awesome article about guarding one's heart in terms of guy-girl friendships. It's incredibly eye-opening and is sure to change your perspective on a few aspects of this frequently talked about topic.

Finals Frenzy

     The month of April has not been good to me in terms of my humble little blog. Poor Splendid Surprises have been lacking lately due to my absolutely crazy schedule. I promise we'll make a comeback!
     I'm sure most of you, like myself, are experiencing the stress of finals right now. If you read my previous post you saw how I was less than impressed with my academic performance this year. That realization plus the fact that the semester is coming to a close has sent me into a whirlwind of negative energy and minor panic attacks.
     During a little study break today, I came across this gem of wisdom from a fellow blogger at College Prep. Carly writes a great article about how we often times allow our exam grades to seriously impact the way we view ourselves. I've read what seems like hundreds of editorials about this exact same phenomenon but have never felt it directly applied to me. The way Carly writes really made me realize that I do this way too frequently and it does have a visible impact on the way I think and behave. 
     Perhaps we should have a different mindset as we approach our final exams this year. I don't think we should necessarily be as concerned with making an "A." We should instead be focusing on the ways that "Finals Week 2013" can become a long lasting learning experience. The information we are attempting to memorize should instead be thoroughly understood. Our study habits shouldn't cause us to fall ill from lack of sleep but instead be tailored toward our specific learning styles and time constraints. I strongly believe that if we make this our first priority, a successful grade will be an inevitable result.
     If you have a moment, go take a look at Carly's post, "Exam Grades". It's full of information that every student should hear around this time. My prayer for all of you is that you are equipped with the determination to study hard and the confidence to perform well on every exam. Hang in there, the end is near! 

Neglecting

     My dearest followers, I must offer my most sincere heartfelt apologies for being MIA for the past two weeks! To say my life has been busy lately would be an understatement. What I'm about to share with you all is something that's not easy for me to do, but must be done. 
     I'm a pretty stubborn person. I will pull every trick in the book to try and convince myself that I'm not, but deep down I know the truth. That being said, admitting that I messed up without offering any excuse is something I consider close to impossible. I'm aware of this flaw and can sincerely say I've been trying to work on it. 
     This past semester at UH has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. I got very caught up in the excitement and joy that surrounded me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, in the process I neglected certain other areas of my life. I'm not saying I had some huge mess up... I'm not failing out of school and my family didn't disown me. But, regardless, I feel that I did not put 100% of myself into my responsibilities this semester. Could I have put more effort into my relationship with my family? Most definitely. Could I have been more diligent in regards to my school work? You bet. Could I have dived more deeply into my faith? For sure. 
     Some people will try to tell me that I shouldn't be stressing so much. I even had one person tell me, "You don't need to put that much work into your family. You're living away from them for a reason." Well, with all due respect, I don't think that way. I have neglected many of my responsibilities for the past few months - I have not given them the time and effort that I personally believe they deserve. 
     But, what's done is done. For me, accepting that I messed up is a HUGE step in the right direction. I need to remember that I am called to live the way Jesus did, offering every single one of my actions for the glory of God. If I truly lived that way, I wouldn't even think to put anything less than 100% of my effort into all of my duties. That's my new goal.

Beautiful Quotes

Live As Unleavened Bread

     Alleluia, He is Risen! Happy Easter to all of you! I hope you all were able to have a relaxing weekend filled with joy. This is the first year that my family has not participated in "traditional" Easter celebrations involving candy and a fluffy pastel bunny. Instead of attending morning mass, my family decided to go to the 5:00pm mass. I love 5:00pm mass, but I always associate it with a "regular Sunday," not Easter Sunday. I felt like Easter was missing something. There was no mention of dying eggs, hiding candy, or buying a new floral dress. Easter was missing its sparkle. In my eyes, Easter was missing what made it special, the show!
     I was assigned to lector the 2nd reading, so I was practicing it in the back minutes before mass started. I thought to myself, "Well, at least the reading will be exciting!" I assumed it would be some beautifully written excerpt from scripture that joyfully proclaimed the resurrection of our Lord. Imagine my surprise when I was faced with nine lines talking about bread. Yeah, bread. As in, the stuff they serve at a restaurant before you get your real food. You have got to be kidding me.
     I walked down from the ambo after reading what I interpreted to be a super lame 2nd reading and waited for the gospel. My pouty mood was made a bit better after hearing the gospel and I was so ready to hear the homily that was to follow. You should have seen the look on my face when Fr. Tom walked up to the front of the altar and started talking about none other than the 2nd reading... the bread. "Fr. Tom, what are you doing?!" I thought to myself as he began to preach about the qualities of yeast and how it scientifically makes dough rise and blah blah blah.
     Then, he said something that caught my attention. Most of us know where yeast comes from now. It's a product of fermentation which happens when we leave things lying out. (It develops on fruits and vegetables that have started to rot). In Jesus' time however, bakers didn't know this exactly. They did know however, that if they added a bit of the old batch of dough to the new batch, it would cause the bread to rise. (The yeast had developed in the old batch that had been left lying out and caused the bread to rise when added to the new batch of dough).
     The 2nd reading instructs us to celebrate the sacrifice of Christ with unleavened bread. What a great party food right? Yeah, no, so gross. But, it makes sense! Leavened bread, although fluffy and delicious, gets its "sparkle" and "show" from the addition of old and yucky bacteria. Jesus Christ has risen from the dead! I don't want to celebrate such a joyous occasion by eating the old stuff, I want everything new! That, my dear friends, is the meaning of this very odd reading.
     Jesus, through His death and resurrection, has brought us a new way of life. He has given us a life free from the captivity of sin and death. Forget about our old lives, our old batches of dough. We should embrace this new life! It may not have the same "sparkle" and "show" of an Easter egg hunt, a new floral dress, or a fluffy loaf of bread... but, it is so much better.

ASB 2013

     This year, I had the best spring break of my life (so far). Instead of spending the week sitting on the couch at home, or drinking away my stresses on Padre Island, I chose to go on a mission trip to the diocese of Brownsville.

     The week started with an eventful drive to San Juan, Texas (just outside of McAllen). Unlike the typical school style road trips, our drive resembled that of a very large and obnoxiously loud family. Whenever someone wanted to eat, we stopped. If someone needed to go to the bathroom, we stopped. If someone felt the need to check their hair in a mirror, we stopped. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I loved the fact that we weren't on a strict schedule - it made the trip much more relaxed. You'd think that this would add a significant amount of travel time. However, thanks to the speedy driving habits of Fr. Joseph, we made it in about 6.5 hours (only an hour over the estimate).

Excited for the trip with Eugenia

James, Gio, and Joel at Whataburger

Credit goes to Shane for Vine-ing our drive in van 1

     We arrived in San Juan at around 8:00pm. It is here that the beautiful Basilica of Our Lady of San Juan del Valle is located. Alternative Spring Break (ASB) was a mixture of a mission trip as well as a pilgrimage. Our mission work consisted of helping the Newman Center at UT Pan American and our pilgrimage was centered around visiting this amazing Basilica. The staff at the Basilica served as excellent hosts and offered us a very generous rate to stay at their on site housing. This is where we stayed for the duration of our trip, 3 nights.

Excuse the poor quality iPhone picture

      Tuesday morning we headed off to the University of Texas Pan American (UTPA) to meet our friend Joe, the campus minister at the Newman Center. 

UH campus minister, Gio, with UTPA campus minister, Joe.

     He presented us with our task for the day... and I'm just going to go ahead and say that it was not easy. The center at UTPA owns a small house right across the parking lot. It has a lot of potential, but the problem is that it has been abandoned for years. As a result, the quaint 3 bedroom house looked like a scene from the "Hoarders: Buried Alive" show. But not to worry, 15 of us stormed into the house and cleaned it out completely. 

Cleaning all the stuff out of the house went surprisingly quickly

I was useless when it came to the heavy lifting. But we formed one heck of a cleaning crew.
Look at those sparkling floors!

     Wednesday was spent doing some minor housekeeping work at the actual Newman Center. It was much more relaxed than our previous day of playing "Extreme Makeover Home Edition." The best part however was when we got news of our new pope! There is no group of people I would have rather been with to watch this exciting moment in church history. 

i

Excuse this incredibly unflattering picture of me, but it shows the excitement.

Papa Francisco!  

     The first two days of our trip was our mission work, and the last day was our pilgrimage. We spent Thursday morning at the Basilica for daily mass and Stations of the Cross. It was absolutely gorgeous and so peaceful. You could feel really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. I was also able to find a new bible in the gift shop which I had been planning on buying for a while!

Breathtaking altar

Giant mural on the side of the Basilica made out of tiny glass tiles

     To say I'm blessed to have gone on this trip is an understatement. This week allowed me to see mission work from an entirely new perspective. On Monday afternoon we left as a group of 21 friends and acquaintances  By the time we got back to Houston on Thursday night, we were a family. I love my ASB family, not just as a result of the memories we made but of the humbling experience we shared while serving in the poorest of all dioceses.
     God allowed me to go on this mission trip not only to serve him and his people, but to enrich my life by making 21 new brothers and sisters. I couldn't have ever imagined a more perfect spring break. I'm already counting down the days until next year.

Stop Punishing Yourself

     I always find it funny whenever someone makes reference to "Good old fashioned Catholic guilt." Why is this even a thing?  Every time I hear this I want to kindly inform everyone about the fact that we have confession... which, if I may add, is probably one of the coolest sacraments ever. We can commit even the most horrible of sins, but as long as we come into reconciliation with a humble and contrite heart, we are forgiven. Why is it then that we still have this idea of feeling guilty for what we've done? 
     I'm telling you folks, God is a way better "forgiver" than we will ever be. I sometimes come into contact with amazing people who are convinced that they have been damaged beyond repair as a result of some sin they previously committed. What makes this even more saddening is that they tell me they've already been to reconciliation and received absolution! In their minds, they know that God has forgiven them. But in their hearts, they're convinced that that's just "too good to be true."
     We have this awful habit of trying to prove ourselves to God. We want to show him that although He has already forgiven us, we will continue to live in sadness and despair for what we've done. He doesn't want that! He made us for happiness and love! What I'm about to tell you is going to be difficult to comprehend because it is so far from what we are told in our society today... God doesn't love you because you're good, He loves you because you're His.
     Stop living in darkness as a way of trying to punish yourself. Jesus has already taken the punishment upon himself! The best way to thank Him is to repent for your sins and take advantage of all the love and grace He pours upon us.
     Okay, I've finished my very small and somewhat meaningless rant. Go and enjoy your Sunday!

Burning Lights Tour

     I'm completely overwhelmed by the greatness of this past week. All I could think about was getting back to my computer to tell you all about it! I started my Spring Break exactly a week from today and boy was that a blast. I took a few of my friends to the fish fry at my home parish and completely stuffed my face with some quality Knights of Columbus home cooking. I think we all agreed that there's something about fish fried outside your local Catholic church that just hits the spot. 
     Saturday brought a whole new set of adventures. I, along with two of the greatest Catholic boys you will ever meet, ventured to The Woodlands to go see Chris Tomlin in concert. I had never been to a praise and worship concert outside of the retreat setting, so I was curious to see how this was all going to go down.

     I give the Burning Lights Tour a glowing review. The entire pavilion was full of energy, love, and excitement. The evening started with the beautiful Kari Jobe leading us in some praise and worship. Shortly after, Chris Tomlin took the stage and brought your typical "Jesus Music" to a whole new level. Now, here's what's super cool. After a few songs, Louie Giglio took the stage and preached. For those of you who are not into stuff like this, I completely understand how crazy this sounds. But trust me, this was not your typical dull and boring bible school lesson. He broke open three stories from scripture and proclaimed them in an absolutely phenomenal way. His explanation of the Story of The Prodigal Son is the best I've ever heard! (More on that coming soon). Once again, Chris and Kari both took the stage and finished out the evening. I don't remember the last time I've seen so many people dancing with such joy in public... I'm talking kids as young as 4 years old to men and women in their 70's.

     Obviously, the concert was fun... as they almost always are. But, I could have not thought of any better way to begin my spring break. I knew that on Monday morning, I was going to leave with a group of students on a mission trip for Alternative Spring Break (ASB). Chris' lyrics perfectly prepared my heart for what was to come.

"I feel alive. I come alive. I am alive, on God's great dance floor."

     The world we are surrounded by every day is God's great dance floor. That world is not always pretty. Sometimes it's filled with sadness, destruction, and poverty. But alongside all those negatives, there are a never ending number of positives. When we accept the will and love of God into our lives, no matter the state of the dance floor around us, we become alive. We fill the dance floor with positives. That's what I was about to do on ASB. I was accepting our Father's love and plunging into the dance floor of the diocese of Brownsville. Although the state of this place was unknown to me, I felt alive and ready to accomplish whatever challenges came my way. (Stay tuned for info coming soon about ASB... if I can manage to fit it all into one post!)

Let Go of Your Tree

     The gospel reading from yesterday (3rd Sunday of Lent) really struck me. This particular reading shares with us one of Jesus' parables. Oh parables... You know when one of those gets introduced, things are going to get complicated. 
     This parable tells the story of a orchard owner who has a fig tree. It has been three years and the fig tree still has not produced fruit. Frustrated, the orchard owner tells the gardner that he plans on cutting down the tree. The gardner then promises to cultivate the ground and fertilize the soil in hopes of it bearing fruit. If after a year it still does not bear fruit, the orchard owner can cut it down. 
   I guess, cool story bro. I had the hardest time trying to relate to this parable. I spent a while trying to manipulate the circumstances of my life to find a way to convince myself that I was the tree in some sense (a work in progress), or even the gardner (the one who helps things grow to their potential). Imagine my disappointment when I realized I was the lame orchard owner. I wasn't the beautiful tree with immense potential. I wasn't the selfless and dedicated gardner. I was the whiny complaining orchard owner. Great.
     I've spent the past few months really trying my hardest to grow in my relationship with God, to become a living, breathing representation of the Holy Spirit. I desperately wanted to be the gardner. Hey, I was even fine with being the tree. But I felt like being seen as the orchard owner meant that I had made no progress throughout these past few months. I was still hung up on what had failed in my life. My three year old fruitless tree. My friend Claire noticed my disappointment and kindly reminded me not to judge my feelings. "Recognize how you feel and see that as something to work on, with God." I couldn't have said it better myself.
     I believe that at some point, we are all the orchard owner. We all have something in our lives that isn't working out and we feel tempted to just "cut it down", give up. Or, sometimes it's taken away from us. Regardless, we need to recognize that it doesn't end there. All of the failed parts of our lives (academics, jobs, relationships) do not disappear when we decide that they do not bring about the fruit that we desire. We've been challenged to hand what we perceive as failures to the "gardner", to God. I'm going to ask you all to join me in this task. Instead of just giving up and throwing it away, hand it over to God, ask him to fix it. If for some reason we believe it has already been taken away, realize that maybe God is using this as an opportunity to fix it Himself, to cultivate the ground and fertilize the soil. 
     Don't cut down your tree. Rather, give it to the gardner and allow Him to do with it what He deems most beneficial. 

Music Obsession

My friend Angie showed me this song earlier this week and I really enjoyed it. It's a very "feel good" kind of song. Don't go into it expecting some deep lyrics that are going to make you rethink your life. But, it can definitely put you in a cheerful mood!

Music Obsession

I've been listening to this song on repeat for the past half hour or so. I thought I'd share!