The text starts by analyzing the characteristics of one of God's most precious creations, the heart of a woman. John and Stasi Eldredge make a comment saying that they believe that the heart of every woman longs for three things: "to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty." In their words, these three characteristics "... make a woman come alive" (Eldredge 9).
What I'm about to write may cause some controversy, but just bear with me. I agree with them wholeheartedly. I think that every single woman has these three desires, but they are all manifested in different ways. Don't let the way we think of "romance," "adventure," or "beauty" turn you away from examining this idea. The text goes into detail about each of these characteristics, but I'm just going to highlight some of the key points that really stood out to me.
"To Be Romanced"
We as a culture have a very twisted view of romance for the most part. Romance does not always mean chocolates on Valentine's Day, or flowers on your anniversary. Romance is when someone makes an effort to show love for another person. The way in which each of us does this is different. (Check out The 5 Love Languages). The attractiveness of being romanced comes from the feeling of being pursued. If someone takes the effort to "woo" a woman, he obviously has noticed her and has a great interest in pursuing her. Although the extent of it may very, "At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, wanted, and pursued. We want to be romanced" (Eldredge 11).
"To Play an Irreplaceable Role in a Great Adventure"
Ask a woman to tell her about herself, and she will probably start with something like, "I'm [insert relationship status]..." "I have [x number] of kids..." "I am a [insert profession]..." We have a habit of defining ourselves through our relationships. This is the reason that we often times feel so broken when one of our relationships fails. If we break up with our boyfriend, who are we? If our kids move out, who are we? If we lose our job, who are we? I'm sure every woman reading this has encountered this crisis at some point - the feeling of complete emptiness because we feel that we lost ourselves in our relationships. People are going to try and tell you this is a weakness. On the contrary, "It is a glory that reflects the heart of God" (Eldredge 29). We are made in the image of God. Even our own God of the universe defines himself in his relationships - The Trinity! "We are relational to the core of our beings and filled with a desire for a transcendent purpose" (Eldredge 12). We want to be needed. God "does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman" (Eldredge 34). We all have an intense longing to be needed by our boyfriend, husband, children, or co-workers. We want to play an irreplaceable role in the lives of others and their adventures. That in and of itself is our adventure.
"To Unveil Beauty"
This particular section was the most difficult for me to comprehend. I am the definition of a girly girl. I love things to be pretty, sparkly, and pink. (Side story... one of my best friends from high school actually had a theory that if anything was sparkly and pink, there was a significantly higher chance of me buying it. In fact, it was almost guaranteed. He's right!!) Even though I knew this was true about me, I have friends that are completely the opposite. They are "tomboys" at heart and could care less if there hair was adorned with a bow or tied back in a simple ponytail. So, I thought to myself, "Are the authors seriously trying to tell me that every woman has a desire to 'unveil beauty'?" Well, yeah. However, it is not the type of beauty we are accustomed to hearing about. I'm not going to bore you by telling you that every woman is beautiful on the inside, because we've all heard it before. Our desire to unveil beauty is a desire to "be captivating in the depths of who [we] are" (Eldredge 17). We want to feel that we are beautiful on the inside. We want others to be captivated by that beauty. More importantly, we want to find that inner beauty in everything we encounter.
These characteristics are a part of us. John and Stasi Eldredge write, "Just like God, a woman is not a problem to be solved but a vast wonder to be enjoyed" (Eldredge 42). We are made this way for a purpose. The world "desperately needs" the "radiance hidden" in our hearts (Eldredge 43).
Like I said previously, the book obviously goes into MUCH deeper explanations of these three characteristics with a multitude of examples. I encourage anyone who is interested to pick up a copy and take a look, even if that's the only section you look at! If you forget everything I've written, that's fine... but I hope I can leave you with one message: The desires we women have in our hearts, are not defects. They are not weaknesses. God made us with those desires, and He doesn't make mistakes. We have them for a reason, and we shouldn't let anyone convince us otherwise. Our loving Father gave these longings to us because He knows that in him, we can find fulfillment of all of the cries of our heart. We may also one day find fulfillment to them in the form of a husband, a child, etc. But those things, as perfect as they may be, are finite. God guarantees to us that he can fill these desires indefinitely... that's a lot of love.
No comments:
Post a Comment